MEAWW.COM / ENTERTAINMENT / K-POP NEWS

B.I opens up on suicidal thoughts and 2019 scandal, fans thankful they could reach him

K-pop idol B.I aka Kim Hanbin was rumored to have smoked marijuana in 2019, which led to immense public backlash as it is illegal in South Korea

Trigger warning - mention of suicide

K-pop idol B.I aka Kim Hanbin truly has one of the most bittersweet solo debut stories as he was initially kicked out of his group iKON due to rumors of drug use in late 2019. However, the court was lenient on him and the idol and his fans were free to move on from his drug scandal as he returned to the K-pop scene as a soloist. Since then he has been pretty active from being the first K-pop idol to perform on Grammy Global Spin to releasing charity albums whose proceedings would go to NGOs. 

He recently rebranded his label 131 and announced that he has a global project in the works. B.I teased the global album by dropping the pre-released single ‘BTBT’ which was in collaboration with DeVita and iconic American rapper Soulja Boy. Talking about his latest achievements with Billboard, B.I also touched upon the 2019 scandal and all the things he had gone through. Fans were first shocked when, during B.I’s last court hearing where he was finally declared free, he shared that he had suicidal thoughts.

READ MORE
‘BTBT’: K-pop idol B.I to collab with Soulja Boy and Devita, fans impressed: 'Unstoppable'

K-pop idol B.I gets 1st solo Korean magazine cover, fans say 'Hanbin we're getting there'

B.I opens up on 2019 scandal

In the 2021 hearing, B.I admitted that he had indeed purchased marijuana thrice and LSD once back in 2016 because he was going through a rough time. Having debuted as the leader of iKON in 2015, the idol shared that he was naive and young back then. He explained that he had made a mistake because he had been contemplating suicide and did not wish to live at the time. Having debuted in a popular K-pop group and being pressured to be the next G-Dragon of BIGBANG fame, B.I elaborated on why he struggled.

In the Billboard interview, B.I said, “Many people expected a lot from me in 2016…I was overly sensitive to results because I was so competitive. I was obsessed with the need to perform better, create better music, to be the best. I wasn’t mature enough to handle the pressure that I put upon myself.” He explained that he had a tough time talking about it and even now he keeps his feelings inside. B.I added that he now regretted resorting to drug use, “Even now, I regret that constantly. I shouldn’t have done it, but felt like I was in a corner, and I made the wrong decision. I was so young and stupid.”

B.I revealed that when the scandal broke out in 2019 he was shocked as his world came crashing down. He hated himself for hurting those close to him and confessed that he had a victim mentality, was stuck in a deep hole and wanted to give up on everything. However, it was his fans who helped him get through the scandal, “I happened to see an event where the fans put short Post-It letters on a wall for me, and I was convinced that someone was waiting for me and my music…I went ahead with one thought — to repay all the people who were by my side.”

'We really did reach him'

Fans were shocked and relieved that they were able to help B.I get through the 2019 scandal, “We reached hanbin. thats the only wish i had during his hiatus, to reach him and let him know he is loved and he's not alone. and we really did reach him. hugs to everyone.” Another fan commented, “Reminding everyone how we survived those yrs of uncertainty by posting our heartfelt msgs and reassurances through our everyday hashtag event for Hanbin. Oh Binics, thank you for fighting and staying with him.And to all the new ID’s,thank you for loving him. I’m proud of us all.”

One fan tweeted, “The moment you know it was all worth it, i love you so much Kim Hanbin.” Another said, “Thinking about how we could have never seen idol B.I again hurts so much. I'm most grateful that he decided to come back.. My dear Hanbin, you deserve the whole world.”