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'Today's Savannah Guthrie shares 'lifelong grief' of losing father as she tears up on 'Now What?' podcast

In the podcast, ‘Today’s meteorologist reflected on her personal journey and how her life’s trials shaped her destiny

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK: During an intimate conversation with Brooke Shields on ‘Now What?’, ‘Today’ host Savannah Guthrie candidly opened up about her pain and grief of losing her father, Charles Guthrie. Guthrie shared how she continues to mourn the untimely demise of her father who died from a heart attack when she was 16 years old.

She revealed on the ‘Now What?’ podcast that his first heart attack happened when she was 13 years ols and a freshman in high school. In the podcast, ‘Today’ meteorologist reflected on her personal journey and how her life’s trials reshaped her destiny. While talking about her father, Guthrie got emotional and cast her memory back to when she was a teenager and how she pulled through the complexities after her dad’s death.

‘I will always carry this grief’

In ‘Now What?’ recent podcast interview, Guthrie shared the horrific tragedy of losing her father when she was a teenager. She said, “I don’t think we understood how serious that was. And then three years later he had another heart attack, and that one was fatal. It was so unexpected”, reflecting upon the first heart attack Charles had when Guthrie was 13.

Guthrie reveals that his death was a pivotal moment that changed the course of her life. She claimed, “I think it changes everything. I always think of it as on our calendars we have BC and AD. There’s a before and after. It’s just this stark dividing line. There’s before my dad died and there’s after, and it’s profound. Grief is a lifelong process. I really believe that. There’s acute grief."

She continued, “There’s different moments of grief, but I remember thinking even then when I was a late teenager, I always thought, I have a cup of grief now. It’s like a cup of water and I’m going to spend the rest of my life emptying this cup. And sometimes it’s coming out in buckets. And sometimes it’s a little sprinkle and sometimes I can just hold it and nothing comes out. But every last drop of this cup will not be empty until I leave this world. I will always carry this grief. It doesn’t mean that I’m not happy, that I’m not joyous, but it’s part of me."

Guthrie often posts snaps of her father on occasions like Father’s Day and her 50th birthday. She shared with Shields that experiencing parenthood herself made her realize that the loss of a parent brings profound wisdom that transforms your very essence.

“When you lose a parent like that, so suddenly, it’s so shocking at 16, you just have some knowledge,” she said. “You just know something about the world that hopefully others don’t have to know."

Guthrie expressed uncertainty about whether her father's passing influenced her perspective on parenting or health, yet she believes his death redirected the course of her personal journey. She said, “I know it changed me and probably changed the whole trajectory of my life. I often think that I would have been totally different if my father had lived. I just don’t know that I would have chosen this career. I don’t know if I would have left home. I might’ve stayed in my hometown."

She concluded, “I don’t know what I would have done, but I know fundamentally it changed everything. And some things it changed for the better, in the sense of, I know that my heart is more tender because of it."

Savannah Guthrie’s infertility issues

While Guthrie shared details about her personal issues, she also revealed her infertility issues and her desire to have a family. She discussed her lifelong dreams of getting married and having children. Brooke asked her when did she first start wanting children to which Guthrie replied, “I think I always wanted to be a mom and always hoped that I would be a mom and always kind of assumed that I would be a mom, would get married and have kids, and I really wanted to."

She continued, “In fact, that may have been the thing I wanted more than anything else, more than any career. I wanted to just go live happily ever after and get married and have kids. I think that was really my biggest goal in life."

She admitted to feeling ‘heartbroken’ at the thought of never having a family as she said, “I mean, that was, to me, my great trial and great tragedy. I so wanted to be that. I so wanted to be married and have kids, and I just couldn't find someone who wanted to marry me, basically."

Although Guthrie ended up marrying her first husband Mark Orchard in 2005, their marriage ended after four years, leaving the journalist's dreams ‘crushed’ of having kids.