'Definitely a red flag': Internet debates over first time mom's questionable teething remedy
A woman's revelation that she let her mother rub whiskey on her 6-month-old baby's gums has caused controversy among netizens. The scenario was posted by the Original Poster (OP), u/RowanRida, in the popular Reddit group 'Am I The A**hole?', where it received close to 10,000 upvotes and almost 5,000 comments.
In the Reddit post titled "AITA for letting my mom rub whiskey on my babies gums?," a woman, 28, started off by saying, "I am a first time mom. My husband and I have a 6 month old baby who is teething horribly. I was at my mothers home a few days ago and was speaking to her about the teething issues."
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'She wanted to try rubbing whiskey on my daughters gums'
She continued, "My mom does some old fashion things and she’s really into herbs and natural healing and such, so she wanted to try rubbing whiskey on my daughters gums. She said she did it to me and all 3 of my siblings. I let her, and it did seem to calm my daughter down a bit."
OP added, "When I got home I told my husband about this, and he was furious. He said that’s harmful to our daughter and it does not relieve any pain. He got really upset and said I shouldn’t of let my mom do something like that, and told me I couldn’t bring our daughter to my mothers anymore. He’s since called the next 2 days off of work, and is super paranoid watching me every second with our daughter. I feel this is unfair."
'You're not some monster that's going to harm your child'
Almost 5,000 people left comments on the post, with everyone supporting the OP. A user expressed, "NTA. You made a bad judgment call here, and a lot of people are going to come charging in on their high horses to tell you what a horrible mother you are like they've never messed up before. Don't worry about them. You're a first-time mom, so you're naturally gonna listen to your own mother when she tries to give you advice. It's natural to look to our elders for guidance and to trust them. While many mothers (including my own) have used this method, we know a lot more about these older 'tried and true' remedies these days. Most of them never worked how they were intended to, if at all. If you wanted something more natural, there are plenty of herbs that you could talk to your daughter's doctor about. If you just let your daughter's doctor know that you want something along those lines, they should be able to point you in the right direction. You're not some monster that's going to harm your child. Honestly, if this is how your husband is reacting, that's a red flag. He's right, it doesn't relieve pain, and if you were to start doing it regularly, yeah, it can be harmful. However, it was a one-time thing that you told him about, and now you know not to do it again. He shouldn't be acting like it was a conspiracy to intentionally hurt your daughter. The best course of action is to be mature adults about this and have some open communication among the three of you (you, him, and your mother). Your mother needs to understand that this is a new boundary. He needs to understand that parents make mistakes, and it doesn't do anyone any good to become extreme in such a way. You need to understand to look into things before applying them to your child so that this (or something worse) doesn't happen to your child. I hope this situation is handled well and that all of you can find yourself in a better situation of clearer understanding and progress."
'A drop of alcohol is not going to have long lasting effects'
Another agreed, saying, "Honestly I can’t believe all the Y T A on this post right now. Her husband literally took two days off work to micromanage parenting because of this? That’s excessive. It’s called having a conversation between two adults, saying “we shouldn’t do this again”, and moving on! Of course OP is NTA, she thought she was doing the best for her child in a stressful moment and made a mistake - a drop of alcohol on the pinky is not going to have long lasting effects on their baby. Making a mistake does not make you TA. She’s not sticking to it, demanding she was correct, and insisting to keep doing it after discussion with her husband. If that would have happened, she would have been TA. Dad staying home from work like she’s driving her child to alcoholism makes him TA here. Also him trying to keep the child from grandma when grandma did it with mom’s permission is another TA move."
'He's also a first time parent'
A third user sympathized, "I agree with you about her being a first time mom and that it's normal to go to your mom for help. I also agree that this is a mistake and she's learned not to do it again. I do think Dad needs some grace here too. As far as we know, he's also a first time parent. She let a non-medical professional give something to their six-month-old without his knowledge. And Grandma gave their baby something that can damage gums. Will it happen again? Probably not. But I think it's understandable that he's emotional and doesn't trust OP right now. If he's still micromanaging a week, a month, etc. from now, that would definitely be a red flag. I think a few days isn't."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.