Internet divided as man gets son 'mad' after last-minute change of plans
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: A man's revelation that he asked his son to miss his date to pick up his eight-year-old daughter has caused controversy among netizens. The scenario was posted by the Original Poster (OP), u/helplesssdad2785, in the popular Reddit group 'Am I The A**hole?', where it received close to 10,000 upvotes and almost 3,000 comments.
In the Reddit post titled "AITA for interrupting my son's date so he could pick up his little sister?," a man, 43, started off by telling users about his situation. He wrote, "I'm a single father to two children, Max (17M) and Liza (8F). I usually have Liza in after school clubs so that I'm able to pick her up after work, however last evening I was given some work that had me working overtime, I did try my best to negotiate out of it but my manager told me that the assignment was to be completed by that night so I just did."
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'He just angrily turned off the phone'
He continued, "It was nearing towards 6pm and I just knew I wouldn't be able to make it to Liza so I called Max and asked him to pick her up, he responded by saying that he couldn't because he was on a date with his gf for their 6 month anniversary. I told him that I understood but that I really needed him to get Liza and that I'd make it up to him for interrupting." But Max didn't like that. OP said, "He just angrily turned off the phone and I thought that while he was mad he had just decided to pick her up."
The man added, "30 minutes later I receive a call from Liza's school on where I was because the school was close to closing down and no one was there. Luckily one of Liza's friend's mother said they'd drop her off and that was all good. However I don't really like it when Liza goes with that particular friend, not because of the friend but because of the mother, she has this habit of asking maths questions in the car that she knows Liza is unable to answer and then criticises her over it. It's all just very mean."
"I called Max and asked him where he was and that he was in big trouble when he got home, he just told me that he was busy and to leave him 'the hell alone'. He came home at around 9pm, I told him he was grounded and that he was not allowed to use the car for a good three weeks. At that he got all mad and said that it wasn't his fault I was failing as a parent and unable to afford someone to collect Liza," he added. OP concluded his post by asking, "Just want some insight on this situation, was I being to harsh and AITA for interrupting his date?"
'You two need to talk this out'
Almost 3000 people left comments on the post, with one saying, "OK I’ll take the bullet here. NTA. You’re not failing as a parent. You had to work overtime, not out drinking or f**king off. Your son was in the wrong here for not helping, turning the phone off and calling you out for it. But you two need to talk this out and discuss expectations. If YOU expect HIM to be part of the contingency plan, there needs to be crystal clear on that…. And what happens to car privvys when he doesn’t."
Another agreed, sharing, "Agreed. My mom was a single mom, and widowed at that, and although she tried not to there were many times she'd ask me to drive my little brother somewhere or pick him up from school because she was delayed at work or stuck in traffic. I was always happy to help her out and never would've considered it her failing at motherhood because of unplanned circumstances. If anything, my high school boyfriend would've looked at me and told me I needed to get my brother and not leave him stranded somewhere."
'In what universe do the oldest siblings no longer have responsibilities'
A third said, "NTA!! In what universe do the oldest siblings no longer have responsibilities to the family they live in? Especially if you pay for that car he was driving. I was the oldest and first to drive. It was understood that use of the car was a privilege that came with responsibility to pick up my 3 younger siblings when needed."
Meanwhile some users had mixed reactions regarding how OP could have handled the situation. One said, "If OP had reached out as soon as he was told about the mandatory OT and told his son he might have to pick sis up, it might have gone better. I can see an issue where his GF didn’t have a car (and under 18 can’t get an Uber) and they just ordered food or paid for a movie or something. Especially if dad didn’t say he’d cover the expenses. A little , even an hour, heads up might have allowed son to adjust his plans."
'There just needs to be better communication'
Another said, "I'll agree that OP is N T A, but the son is also not an a**hole because nothing was discussed ahead of time. This is a good case for NAH (No A**hole Here), and that there just needs to be better communication in the family, who are all trying their best."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.