Woman riles up relatives by refusing to babysit cousin but internet finds the family ‘toxic’
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: A woman has disclosed her pain after receiving a lot of hate from her own family. The 33-year-old, identified only as u/This_Value_5243, posted her story on Reddit, where she wondered if she did wrong to her relatives.
The woman wrote, “AITA For Not Babysitting My Cousin and Blowing Up My Family,” on Reddit’s subsection, r/AmItheA**hole. She continued, “I am a widow and a mother to two twin boys. My husband Ryan passed away 3 yrs ago. His best friend Alex 39m, became a constant in our lives after Ryan passed, helping with the kids, the house, and helping with my grief. After a year with my and Ryan’s family’s blessing, we started dating.”
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Always the 'designated babysitter’
She said that she is the "eldest child on both sides of a large family. Five siblings and ten aunts and uncles (5 on each side) who had at least 4 kids each. I have always been the designated babysitter. Sat at the kids table until I was in my 20s and got married because I had to watch the kids, missed out on activities on family vacations for the same reason. My mom’s family is worse about it than my dad’s.”
u/This_Value_5243 then went on to explain that recently, a baby boy “was placed with my mom’s youngest brother Michael and his wife Mary. They want to adopt him, but the bio-mom’s parents were fighting them. From what I’ve been told they have substance issues as well.”
However, another thing was happening parallelly in the woman’s life as she “saw signs that Alex was going to propose. For my birthday this year, he planned a big night out in a big city about an hour away. Reservation at a VERY fancy restaurant, fancy new outfits, etc. I was pretty sure that he was going to propose that night.”
‘They were furious’
But the issue arose just a few weeks before her birthday. She went on to explain, “I get a call from Mary saying they have court against the baby’s grandparents on my bday and can I watch him. I explained no and why and she lost it. Yelled at me, then called my mom, who then called me and yelled at me. I stood my ground. Without telling me, my mom told Michael and Mary I would do it. Told me later it was because if they showed up, she knew I wouldn’t say no.”
She stated, “They showed up mid-afternoon on my birthday with the baby and I again told them no and I did not tell my mom I would do it. They were furious and I almost had to call the cops to have them removed. Anticipating drama from my family, I turned off my phone and went about my day. Alex did propose and is now my fiancé.”
u/This_Value_5243, however, claimed that after she switched on her phone, she got “vile” messages “from nearly everyone on my mom’s side.” She noted, “Accusing me of trying to sabotage the adoption, calling me a whore for moving on from Ryan so quickly. It was disgusting. And my dad tried to defend me and my mom got so mad she moved out and is staying with another uncle. So my siblings are harassing me saying I ruined our parents' marriage,” before adding, “I suppose Alex and I could have canceled the reservation and gone another night, but he worked so hard on everything and I didn’t want to hurt him by canceling. So, AITA?”
‘Delusional family’
Commenters on the post immediately backed the woman as a person wrote, “NTA. Why didn’t your mom, or any of siblings, or any other family member take care of the kid? Why are you the ONLY one who can take care of this baby, on your birthday no less. Delusional family. Except for your dad, he seems like he has a good head on his shoulders.”
Another person said, “NTA. Your family sucks. Your mom especially, for telling them you would do it. She did this move out and stuff because she is used to manipulating people. Good on you for not letting her manipulate you.” “NTA. Your family is a total disaster area. Why on earth didn't any of the people who are screaming at you now just babysit the kid instead?” a third asked.
Another added, “NTA. Your family sounds incredibly toxic and honestly sounds like they should be adopting anyone’s child if this is how they act. Why couldn’t your mother watch them? You clearly already had plans and you are under no obligation to cancel your plans to do favors for others.”
This article contains remarks made on the internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.