'I remember just crying in bed': Billie Eilish confesses she once felt 'hopeless' because she's a girl
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Pop singer Billie Eilish makes a tragic confession revealing she once felt "so hopeless" because she's a girl and would "cry in bed" after falling into a "pit of hopelessness." The 20-year-old singer recalled the time when she believed she would never be able to perform in the way she wanted to, due to female representation in the music industry.
The Grammy winner made the revelation in an intimate interview after being featured by BBC 100 Women in its 2022 list, as part of a season of content celebrating 100 inspiring and influential women from around the world. Billie also added that she "felt most powerful when she felt most masculine in life" adding that she struggled to feel feminine.
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"There was a specific period of time where I was in this pit of hopelessness about myself as I didn't have much to look up to in terms of girls like me being taken seriously," the hitmaker said. "I remember just crying in my bed because I was thinking about the kind of show I would want to put on," she said, reported Daily Mail. "I would just feel so hopeless because I'm a girl, so I'm never going to be able to have a show like that, I'm never going to be able to be free up there and wild… perform in this way and be more physical and be more about the performance... I thought it would never happen."
The 'Bad Guy' singer also shed light on how she felt about amalgamating the masculine and feminine aspects of herself. She said, "I feel the most powerful when I feel the most masculine in my life… I also can find power in femininity. It's kind of a balance of both." "Depending on how I walk and stand, and my clothes, and my face and my jewellery and my fingers and everything I am day to day. I like to feel more masculine than feminine, it just makes me feel better. I struggled with it for a long time because I wanted to feel feminine and like it but I just didn't really, but it's finding moments when you can have that and it feels good still," Billie said in the interview that is set to air on Tuesday on BBC Three.
Nevertheless, the megastar speaking on the topic of 'progress' which is the theme of this year's BBC 100 Women season said, "There has been a lot of backpedalling with the world and the laws (Roe v Wade)…we are going back in time in certain areas which makes me want to throw up." But talking about the music industry, she does think there has been a lot of progress for women saying, "The way that women have been absolutely towering over everyone in this industry right now, it's so exciting to me." "It makes me feel really hopeful and inspired. It's not only women doing one thing, it's women doing all kinds of different things." She told the source, "And looking different and acting different and having different styles. There such a range right now and so nice to see and it's refreshing and new and it's never been like that…It's really cool to be a part of it."