YouTube star Tana Mongeau opens up about why her relationship with Jake Paul has gone south: 'I lost myself'
YouTube star Tana Mongeau has revealed new details about her whirlwind of a romance with Jake Paul, giving reasons as to why the relationship went south.
The couple began dating in April and got married — unofficially — on July 28 after Paul proposed to Mongeau on June 24 at her 21st birthday bash.
A YouTube video released by Mongeau on December 29, titled 'The Truth About Everything' showed her open about her marriage and why it isn't what it appears to be on the outside.
In the video, she detailed how she was "unhappy" with how public her marriage was, stating, "I am so unhappy with the way my relationship looks in the public eye, and I’ve done so much pretending I don’t care when I do."
"I did so much of being the 'cool girl' and not 'caring' and I think I just put so much of myself into Jake that I lost myself," she added.
Talking about when the couple first started dating, Mongeau said, "It was the best feeling in the world to be so on the same page with someone, it was like a drug."
"Something that was making me the happiest, most motivated, most inspired I'd ever been was also simultaneously helping me succeed and achieve so many dreams I'd had," she added.
"Everyone thought it for clout and fame, and that made it so much worse for me mentally. After me and Jake got married, I feel like everything changed," she said speaking about how she was not truthful to Paul, her husband, and how challenging that got after they married.
The emotional star also brought up the picture of Paul and Erika Costell, his ex-girlfriend at lunch, speaking about how she felt even though she said she "greenlit" an open relationship.
"I felt like I was opening my phone every day to something that just broke me further. Finding out about the Erika s**t on Twitter killed me, because Jake and I had so many conversations where he like villainized her, and I spent so much time trying to be everything she wasn't," she explained.
Paul had also released a new song about Alissa Violet, another one of his ex-girlfriends and uploaded a picture of when they were together.
"It's very weird now with all this Alissa s**t because I spent so much time thinking he was so hurt by it. To be fair, Jake did tell me he wrote this song, and that he was going to allude to being about Alissa, but I didn’t think he was gonna post that photo," said Mongeau.
In spite of this emotional upheaval, Mongeau says that the blame isn't to be put on Jake Paul, saying the blame belongs to her for not being honest with how she felt about their relationship as it progressed.
She went on to say that the duo is still together, as of now. "Jake and I both have these psycho busy lives, and trying to fit each other in just gets harder and harder, and so many things keep hurting me further. I don’t ever want to be on bad terms [with him], I don’t ever want to hate each other," she said.