'You didn't betray her trust': Internet sides with man who sent sister-in-law's texts to his brother
While most family feuds involve one or two relatives sticking their nose into every issue, one man on Reddit with user name u/silmaritaldiscord did the opposite and did everything he could to stay away from the issue and still managed to cause an uproar. The man posted on the Reddit platform AITA (Am I the As****e), where he described his experience and asked other users for their opinion on the matter. The poster has a brother named Todd, who married Hayley.
Todd and Hayley met in college in the US and moved to Switzerland to be with her husband and his family. The Reddit user says, "Since Hayley and Todd got married, and especially since she gave birth, Hayley has been trying to involve my mother and me in her and Todd's relationship. She started texting my mother when she and Todd would disagree, asking my mother her opinion or if she could talk to Todd on her behalf." The user then added, "My mother was very uncomfortable with this. My mother was happy to help out with anything to do with adjusting to living in a different country, but she really didn't want to get involved in Hayley and Todd's relationship... Then Hayley started texting me."
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‘I was a terrible person’
The poster always seemed to try to stay out of Todd and Hayley's marriage, but it seems his sister-in-law kept trying to involve him, especially when she called him at work. “She was screaming and sobbing so loudly my sales assistant could hear her even though she wasn't on loudspeaker. What I ended up being able to understand was that Todd about money and he had changed his credit card details and she was upset. She wanted me to talk to him,” the poster said of her call. “I told her that from now on any messages or information shared with me would be passed along to Todd because I was done and hung up… Then a barrage of texts start coming through. I forwarded them all to Todd and told him this stuff needs to stay on his plate not ours and we're sick of her behaviour.”
Hayley then appears to have been heartbroken by the poster's behavior and had accused him of betraying her trust by forwarding her messages. He also revealed that by sending these texts, he had apparently caused a marital dispute between the two. The poster, who then told his friends about the matter, was told that he should not have sent her texts to his brother and that he had betrayed her trust. This brought the matter to the AITA platform, where Redditors put their two cents in.
‘Very childish’: Redditors give their verdict
Many Redditors had sided with OP, even as they sympathized with Hayley because she has no one to talk to in a new country that is not her own. One user said, “You continuously told her that you were not getting involved. She didn't listen to you and kept going. Calling you at work, and she is hysterical and again didn't listen to the boundary you set. I don't blame you.”
“This had nothing to do with venting or talking about issues. Hayley was trying to essentially manipulate her husband by getting his family to pressure him. It seems if he didn't agree with her or she didn't get what she wanted, she went to them to try to get them involved to make Todd do what she wants,” another user had said.
A third user made the OP’s stance on the matter very clear and justified his actions too, saying, “You didn't betray her trust - you never asked her to trust you and never gave any indication that you wanted to be/were her confidant.”
Some had even go so far as to ask if perhaps the OP’s brother was abusive and that was why his wife keeps trying to reach out. “I know it might not be nice to think like this, but is there any chance Todd is being abusive behind closed doors? You mentioned this started after pregnancy/birth.” The accusations of abuse came full circle as some took to accusing Hayley of it as well. “I think we should also consider the other side. Is Todd being abused, and girlfriend is trying to use MIL and SIL to triangulate him and make him feel crazy?”
Another user slammed her habit of dragging outsiders into her marriage, and had also gone so far as to state that it will not be a forever match. “Rather than talk things out with her husband she continually goes to outside people and unnecessarily drags them in. This doesn't sound like a marriage that will last. Unless there is more going on behind closed doors.”
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.