'You are strong and brave': Internet supports woman who refused to help sick stepfather due to shocking reason
Reddit’s AITA (Am I the a**hole) platform is a busy and happening place with lots of opinions and questions being thrown around. The most recent addition to that subreddit is a post made by a young woman who asked for users' opinions on refusing to help her mother with her stepfather's sickness even though her mother had pleaded with her. The poster, a 25-year-old woman, had mentioned having a strained relationship with her mother for more than seven years. “My dad died when I was 4. Mom and him were not married but they were together. She leaned heavily on my dad's family for a couple of years. Then she moved us away so she could start a better life for us,” the poster had said.
She then details the next phase of her life — her stepfather. “After moving she met John and married him. I was told, more than once, by John and my mom, that John was now my father and I was told to call him dad, refer to him as dad with others, and not to correct anyone who used the term dad/father. I was to correct those who said he was my stepdad,” she said.
READ MORE
'Gross and creepy': Woman SLAMMED for asking roommate to leave so that her dad could sleep in
Have Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott broken up? Fans share 'insane' theory about the couple
‘I should have been treated better’: Redditor details childhood resentment
The poster’s stepdad and mother ended up having more children, leaving her to feel left out. However, she goes on to detail that she was still forced to acknowledge John as her ‘dad’ and was punished if she didn’t — even though she was not treated as well as her half-siblings. “I moved out the day I turned 18 and stopped speaking to or seeing my mom and John. She would reach out, sometimes I would read or listen to hear speak. But I felt good not having them around,” the poster said.
She then details that her stepdad has now been diagnosed with a neurological condition that requires medical assistance. Her mother had asked for her to come in and lend a hand- to which the poster refused and slammed her mother for all the years she felt neglected. “I refused. She told me she needed me, they needed me, and I'm their daughter. I told her I didn't care, I wouldn't help and after everything they had done, they deserved nothing from me. I told her she failed me as a mother and as far as I was concerned they were already dead and buried and nothing to do with me,” the poster said. She also called out her mother for saying she was ‘lacking in compassion.’ She then revealed that her mother went so far as to tell on her to a friend, who had called the poster and told her that she should “be ashamed” because she “piled on a woman who is doing the hardest job imaginable.”
Redditors throw in their two cents
With the poster’s detailed explanation of her family dynamic, Redditors showed up in hoards to comfort her and confirm that she was ‘NTA’ (Not the a**hole). One user had said, “Your mom and stepdad both failed you as parents. Both of them disrespected your memory of your father. Your stepdad forcing you to call him something he wasn't entitled to and didn't live up to. Your mom choosing him and his kids over you - I mean the only parent you had left didn't want to protect you. Now she can live by her choice.”
Another user had slammed the poster’s mother for trying to erase memories of her real father. They said, “I cannot believe that people in the 21st century (mom remarried in 2002-ish?) are still forcing children to, essentially, forget a deceased parent and call their remaining parent's spouse mom/dad! It's so archaic and flies in the face of everything we now know about grief and children! It's HORRIBLE what her mother and stepfather did and continue to do to OP!” A third user had also slammed the family friend for putting their nose into another family’s business, saying, “Where was this family friend when John and Mom were favoring John’s kids. Didn’t have shit to say then.”
One other user emphatically supported the OP, saying, “He made it clear he wasn't your father. Now it's your turn to make clear you are not his daughter.” One more user said, “The fact that the mother thinks it's acceptable to have other people message and berate the daughter speaks volumes about what kind of person she is.”