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'What a selfish person': Man slammed for not celebrating non-speaking autistic 17-year-old stepson's first words

The 36-year-old man faced flak on Reddit after saying that celebrating his stepson's first words was 'unusual and not a traditional thing'
UPDATED MAR 1, 2023
(Representative picture, Getty Images)
(Representative picture, Getty Images)

A 36-year-old man became subject of netizens' ire as he refused to celebrate his stepson's first words. The man's son, who is 17, on the spectrum and non-speaking, somehow said "I-love-you" to his mother. After narrating the whole scene on Reddit, the man was slammed for being "selfish." 

The post gained a lot of attention on Reddit along with 2,300 responses. The thread was shared in the 'Am I the a** hole' forum. The user wrote, "My (36 M) wife, Fran (35 F), and I have been married for four years. We have a beautiful home and a healthy daughter (3F) and we're doing amazing. Also, my wife has a son, Nick (17 M). His father is out of the picture, never really was, so Nick has been part of our family since the beginning, without distinction to our daughter."

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Nick is "non-verbal"

The user continued by stating that Nick was on the spectrum and was non-speaking. He wrote, "Nick is on the spectrum; he's non-verbal, (or non-speaking, as my wife says), but he has always been great at communicating effectively with Fran, and he's doing better every day. To my understanding (i.e., what my wife tells me) Nick is able to communicate via his phone and his AAC communication device, but he is still considered non-verbal because he has considerable difficulties with verbalization."

When Nick said his first few words, Fran was overjoyed, but the user did not feel that way and "wasn't in a mood to celebrate." The user wrote, "Well, it turns out that, a week ago, Nick said his first fully formed "words." He mumbled something along the lines of 'I-love-you'. That's great, and I'm incredibly happy about it. The issue is that my wife, who was overflowing with joy, wanted to celebrate that very same week and go out and have a fancy dinner with us, her sister, and her mother. It was a Friday night, and honestly, I didn't feel like going out and I wasn't in the mood to celebrate, but I said 'Okay, sure, let's go' to please my wife."

'We didn't celebrate our daughter's first words'

Comparing his daughter to Nick, the user wrote, "Well, we didn't celebrate our daughter's first words. However, Fran thought I was in a bad mood, and she kept teasing me about being grumpy, so I teased her with 'Well, we didn't celebrate our daughter's first words , did we?' and that started a big argument. After that, I decided not to go out to 'celebrate' Nick's mumbled words, and I stayed home. My wife was visibly upset, and the fight escalated on both sides. I pointed out who paid half of Nick's expenses, and she pointed out that she raised him by herself for more than a decade. We both said stupid things**. To be clear:** I didn't say the celebration was stupid or unnecessary, I just pointed out it was unusual and not a traditional thing people celebrate......"



 

'Your wife waited 17 years'

Netizens were left shaking with rage as many called him "selfish" and said that he did not "care about the kid at all." A user wrote, "Your wife waited seventeen years to hear her child say he loves her. She probably thought it would never happen and it IS worth celebrating. Seeing how joyful it made your wife should have been enough for you to want to celebrate it, too. YTA."

Another user commented, "This man doesn't just not care about his stepson speaking, he seems to not care about the kid at all. Despite his insistence that his stepson is seen no differently than his daughter, it stands out how dismissively he describes Nick in the first few paragraphs ("to my understanding (i.e. what my wife tells me)"; how does he not know how well his stepson is able to communicate? They live together!). Had it been their daughter who first spoke after 17 years I doubt OP would have had trouble finding the energy to celebrate."

Another outraged user wrote, "Can you imagine throwing a fit because you couldn’t be bothered to go to dinner? Even if OP didn’t agree… shut up and eat, or don’t it’s not about you! What a selfish person. YTA"



 



 



 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.

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