'Teen Mom OG': Mackenzie hints about having suicidal thoughts after her mother Angie's death

Mackenzie McKee has been struggling to cope with the death of her mother,  Angie Douthit. To honor her memory, the family organized a memorial service and Mackenize tried her best to put on a brave face. One month after Angie's death, Mackenzie knew it was time for her to step outside and face reality. 

She decided to go to a salon with her friend but soon realized that she was still struggling to rein in her emotions. Mackenzie revealed there were times when she felt like she had everything under control but suddenly a small thing would remind her of her mother. She revealed that as soon as she entered the salon she thought about her mother because the last time she came here it was with her mother. 

Mackenzie found it hard to understand when will it all get better. She confessed that she believed with time things would change but added that it has been getting harder. She further recalled that there are times when she would call her husband, Josh McKee, and start crying. However, she failed to explain to him why she was crying. 

Mackenzie admitted that there was a lot of pain inside her and she was struggling to deal with it. She revealed that sometimes she just feels paralyzed and thinks that she cannot wake up or move. Mackenzie also admitted to Josh how she needed help because she felt like she would never be the same after her mother's death. 

She further added that she needed help. Speaking to the producer, Mackenzie admitted, "I hate being alive, it is so painful". She said losing her mother was one of the hardest things she had to face. Even though she accepted that things are supposed to get back to normal, she started questioning how much more time it would take. 

While she assured everyone that she would not do anything to herself because she has her children to take care of one, she is unable to hide her struggle completely and even though Mackenzie has been trying her best, she is far from it. 

'Teen Mom OG' airs on Tuesdays at 8 pm ET on MTV.