'Stop enabling her': Internet supports man who would rather 'buy 'five cars' than help his sister
A man's revelation that he is rich enough to buy five cars but doesn't want to help out his sister with money has caused controversy among netizens. The scenario was discussed by the Original Poster (OP) u/No_Hat_5534 in Reddit's well-liked 'Am I The A**hole' sub category, where it garnered 7K upvotes and more than 2K comments.
In a Reddit post titled "AITA for what I said to my sister after she insinuated I should sell a car and give her money?", OP introduces himself by saying, "I am 48 years old, married but child free by choice. It’s something my wife and I agreed on early in our relationship. We both have pretty good jobs and are able to afford many expensive items and activities. I attribute this to our jobs obviously, but also the fact that we are child free and live in a one bedroom apartment. I own a manufacturing plant that was given to me from my father. On that property, I store 4 classic cars that I have bought/restored. I have always been a car guy. I plan to buy another car in the next year too."
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'She has asked me to help her out since she is embarrassed to ask our parents'
Next, the OP went on to describe his sister and her life. "I have one sister who is younger than me and never made the best decisions in life. She has a boyfriend who she lives with after getting divorced twice. She’s also in her early 40s. She has 2 kids who already seem smarter than their mom. She makes an okay living but she’s the breadwinner. Her bf that she lives with spends most of his time stoned and playing Xbox. He’s always 'looking for a new job'. Or blaming 'the capitalist system' for him not having a job," he said.
The post continued, "Her daughter (10) is a very good singer. I don’t have an ear for talent but to me she is very good. My sister has wanted to enroll her in lessons with a private coach but cannot afford it. She has asked me to help her out since she is embarrassed to ask our parents. She also does not speak to the father of her daughter. I declined politely until she made a comment about my money and cars, just another 'must be nice' comment I’m all too sick of hearing."
'Put down the dope for all of 10 minutes'
"Here is where I made my a**hole comment," OP said, " 'Maybe if your boyfriend can put down the dope for all of 10 minutes he can help you out' and 'I have 5 cars I’ll buy another 5 before I give you a dime'. I said her daughter isn’t my responsibility. She’s got a mother and a father and if they can’t figure it out it doesn’t fall on my shoulders."
OP said that his sister then went and told his wife "how mean" he was to her. "My wife now wants us to give the money, but I don’t want to. Sure we can afford it but I’m not my sisters welfare." OP concluded by saying, "I’m sure some of you will make a comment about how I refer to her daughter or my niece. They live in another state and have for the entirety of her life. I don’t see my sister or her kids much at all. I don't really know her kids too well. I send them birthday and Christmas gifts but I’m not close with them."
'Stop enabling your sister'
More than 2K people left comments on the post, with all of them supporting the OP. One user commented, "NTA (NotThe A**hole) OP it is not your job to finance someone elses lifestyle. Your sister had made her choices, and chooses to live with a leech. Your wife should be on your side. And stop enabling your sister," while another agreed saying, "NTA and also, it's despicable to try to manipulate the situation by triangulating the wife after him. She knows she doesn't have a case so she involves other people by playing the pity game to get them on her side. Machiavellian and unacceptable."
A third user commented, "You were honest about your perspective, and it sounds like your sister needs to get in touch with honesty/reality about herself and others. If she’s been expecting other people to take greater care of herself and her children than she does, that’s unrealistic at best. The articulation may have been…frank, but it sounds like she needed -and OP definitely OP needed- to have a vivid picture painted. I say NTA," while an empathetic user said, "My brother's ex-wife does this every time my mother gives him something. My mother gave him her old car instead of trading it in when she got a new one and his ex did the "wow, must be nice" sneer and condescend and my brother just smirked and said "It is nice!""
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