Pregnant Meghan Markle broke down as she HAD to attend royal event after revealing suicidal thoughts to Harry
'Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life. I'm somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with it,' Harry said.
Meghan Markle started having suicidal thoughts when she was six months pregnant with Archie, who was born in 2019, Prince Harry revealed to Oprah Winfrey in an Apple TV documentary about mental health.
On his new show, 'The Me You Can’t See,' on Apple TV+, Harry spoke candidly on wide-ranging topics including the time the Duchess of Sussex confessed that she was having thoughts about killing herself as she struggled to adjust to royal life as an outsider. He noted, "There was a lot of learning in the beginning of our relationship."
Meghan was thrust into the proverbial spotlight immediately after her relationship with Harry went public. There was not a place where cameras were not following them. "It made my blood boil," he said. "It makes me angry. It takes me back to my mum, to what I experienced as a kid."
Harry and Meghan forced to perform royal duties even after her suicidal thoughts
What made it worse, Harry recalled, was the backlash that the couple was subjected to on social media, against which the Palace apparently provided no help. "I thought my family would help but every single ask, request, warning, whatever, it is just got met with total silence, total neglect," Harry recalled. "We spent four years trying to make it work. We did everything that we possibly could to stay there and carry on doing the role and doing the job. But Meghan was struggling."
When Meghan was already six months into her pregnancy, the couple walked into the Royal Albert Hall in London for a charity event, holding hands. This was after Meghan had opened up about her suicidal thoughts. "Meghan decided to share with me the suicidal thoughts and the practicalities of how she was going to end her life. I'm somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with it and of course, because of the system that we were in and the responsibilities and the duties that we had, we had a quick cuddle, and then we had to get changed and had to jump into a convoy with a police escort and drive to the Royal Albert Hall for a charity event," Harry revealed.
He added: "There wasn't an option to say, 'You know what, tonight we're not going to go, because just imagine the stories that come from that.'" He recounted how once the lights dimmed, Meghan started to cry, making him feel ashamed that he could not reach out to his family regarding this.
Why Meghan ultimately decided against suicide
Harry said that the only thing preventing Meghan from killing herself was that she didn't want her husband to lose another woman he loved in his life. The fact that she was pregnant with their baby also weighed in on her. "The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought," he said. "She hadn't lost it. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't self-medicating, be it through pills or by alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up."
Confirming what people had already speculated and had been reported earlier, Harry said that the formerly royal couple quit the monarchy to take better care of Archie. "Rather than every time I look in his eyes wonder whether my wife is going to end up like my mother, and I'm going to have to look after him myself," Harry said. "That was one of the main reasons to leave."