Internet furious at man as he gives bizarre reason for not helping girlfriend with household chores
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Netizens slammed a man after he revealed that he didn't help his girlfriend do chores because he paid majority of the rent.The scenario was posted by a user in the popular Reddit group 'Am I The A**hole', where it received almost 7,000 upvotes and more than 2,000 comments.
In the Reddit post titled, "AITA for letting my girlfriend do most of the household chores because she doesn’t pay as much of the rent as I do?" the 24-year-old man started off by saying, "I work for a very prominent company and get paid a lot better than my girlfriend (23F). We both moved to a different state for my job, and she ended up with a very toxic work environment with a boss who was sexist and homophobic. She hated her job and ended up getting a new one that pays a lot less than her old one, and has asked me to take on the responsibility of paying most of the rent."
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'She keeps bringing up how I need to do more'
The man continued, "Since we have been in this new state, she has done most of the cleaning. I contribute by doing the dishes sometimes and washing the laundry (she folds it). She is the only one who cleans the bathroom, the kitchen, and the only one who sweeps, mops, and vacuums along with other random chores here and there."
"It’s been about 8 months since we moved and everything was fine until recently. The other day she asked me to vacuum the living room and I said I didn’t know where the vacuum was. Since then, she keeps bringing up how I need to do more of the housework, but I feel like because I contribute more to the rent she should be responsible for keeping the apartment clean. I also do the dishes sometimes and do stuff she asks me to do," he added.
'She gets frustrated and just cleans by herself'
He went on to add, "I’ve done more of the dishes since she brought it up (doing them maybe once a week instead of once every other week). She now leaves cleaning tasks for me to do without telling me about them and then gets upset when they aren’t done. If she just asked me to clean those parts of the apartment then I would. She claims that I should know what needs to get done and just do them myself without making her bring it up first. Eventually she gets frustrated and just cleans by herself. I’m also tired from working when I get home and I just want to relax or finish my work."
He added, "She works the same amount of hours as me, but her job is much less demanding than mine so she is less drained by the end of the day. She does pay for our groceries and my gas sometimes as well as other little things here and there." The man concluded his post by saying, "I don’t think I’m an a**hole for expecting her to contribute with the housework since I contribute more financially. AITA for letting her do most of cleaning since I pay for most of the rent?"
'Why aren't they splitting housework 40/60?'
More than 2000 people left comments on the post, with most of them bashing the man. A user commented, "Waa, waa, waa! I don't wanna clean cause I'm sooo tired working the same hours as my girlfriend, who works just as many hours and then has to come home to clean after her lazy a** boyfriend. YTA, but you know that." Whilst another agreed with the idea and said, "LOL yup. What gets me the most is that he said that he would do the chores if she just told him what to do. But she wants to be his partner... not his damn mother. UGH I've dated a few guys with the same mindset and it is frustrating as hell lol." Another added, "Yes, and my favourite part is that they're splitting rent 60/40. So even if his logic was correct, why aren't they splitting housework 40/60???"
A fourth user explained why they thought OP was a "massive a**hole" and gave some tips. They commented, "Massive a**hole. OP, I doubt you care or will change your behavior since you came here looking for validation, but if you want to have healthier relationship dynamics here are a few tips.When two members of a couple work the same number of hours household tasks should be split equally. COMMUNICATE! Don't just assume that she should do more based on your internal rational. Discuss these things in advance."
They added, "This may sound like it contradicts above, but you shouldn't have to be told all the time to help out. If you have working eyes you can see when the shower needs scrubbed, the dishes need done, the laundry needs to be put away, etc. It's completely irritating to have to ask a partner all the time to do basic daily tasks. Women want an equal partner, not an extra child they have to hound to do the chores. If that means having some sort of pre-discussed division of labor that's fine, but you shouldn't have to be told everytime something needs done around the house."
The user also added, "In general, your post indicates a lack of respect for your partner and a sense of importance/entitlement about yourself. Be more supportive and considerate. Realize and appreciate what your partner brings to the table even if she earns less. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. If she paid 60% of the bills does that mean you should start being her maid? See how sh*tty your approach is?" Another user mocked the man by sarcastically commenting, "I pay 60% of the rent so it's only fair that she do 100% of the chores."
In the end, the man, who seemed to hae realised his mistake, gave an update, saying, "I appreciate those of you defending me in the comments, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I am the asshole. Please don’t say anything negative about my girlfriend since she has not done anything wrong. She’s tried talking to me about this and I have not been receptive. I’m sorry for not responding to people, I was having a conversation with her. There’s nothing I can do to make up for the past 8 months, and I was an idiot to think that my financial contribution was great enough to warrant not doing any chores."
He added, "I would do anything to keep her, and I messed up thinking that this was a small issue. I hope she forgives me for not taking her concerns seriously, and I hope I can create an environment where she feels comfortable confronting me in the future if I’m EVER acting like this again. It shouldn’t have come down to strangers on the internet telling me I’m an asshole to realize this, but thank you all for the wake up call so much. I am never going to dismiss her or all the hard work she puts into this relationship and our life together again. Im going to start doing the majority of the chores for the time being. I’m also going to start paying more of the rent since I do make more. I don’t pay more of the rent to have a housekeeper, I pay more of the rent because I love her and I want to support her. Thank you all again for the reality check."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.