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Internet slams man after he introduces fiancee as girlfriend at dinner with judgmental parents

The scenario was discussed in the popular Reddit group 'Am I The A**hole?' where it received more than 3K upvotes and close to 500 comments

A woman's revelation that she left her fiance's house after being introduced as his girlfriend has sparked controversy among netizens. The scenario was posted by Original Poster (OP) u/Fairly_catalina_20 in the popular Reddit group 'Am I The A**hole?' where it received more than 3K upvotes and close to 500 comments.

In a Reddit post titled "AITA for leaving my fiancés family dinner after being introduced as his gf?" a girl, 26, wrote, "I and my fiancé have been engaged for a year and a half. He was born in Spain and his family still lives there and in the time of our relationship about 4 years have not visited the states since. I have never been introduced to his family not even on a FaceTime call which I always wished changed but he wanted to make meeting them special. My family have met my fiancé many times and they all love him, we are also Dominican so the language barrier with his family wouldn’t matter."

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OP continued, "In February my fiancé family planned to visit for about 2 months since it’s been so long. I live in my own place so they’d be staying with my fiancé only. His mom, dad, sister, and brother in law all came and they planned a dinner party with me and some of my fiancés friends and coworkers (more like a welcome party). I was beyond excited to meet them and finally announce our engagement." 

"The day came and I went over to his house. My fiancé talked to me prior and told me his family is very outspoken and if his mom says anything out of line to not worry ab it. He said this concerning our age, cultural dif, and my job (special ed teacher and my fiancé is a lawyer). I was kinda worried because I didn’t want them to think poorly of me based on all that but he assured he’d be there to back me up," she added.

'My fiancés parents (made) judgmental comments'

However, things went south soon after. "The party starts and I prepped everything, cooked the food and set the tables. His parents arrived and see me and ask who I was. He pauses and says I’m his gf. I looked at him shocked and he gave me a go along with it look. Beyond my better judgment I agreed. The dinner goes on and my fiancés parents make a judgmental comment ab the dr where my families from. I corrected them and then she makes comments about my curly hair and how odd it was. My fiancé said nothing and tried to change the convo. Later on it was brought up how young I was and he says it doesn’t matter. My job got brought up and they said there’s no way I can survive off my salary."

'That's not an engagement ring is it?'

OP continued, "During the dinner I completely forgot I had my ring on and his mom spotted it and says, 'that’s not an engagement ring is it?' My fiancé gives me an angry look like I was supposed to know I was playing gf tonight and says it’s my grandmas old ring. I was fed up and said we have been engaged for awhile and he’s lying to you for God knows what. I leave without saying another word and get a sh*t ton of calls from him. He said he wanted to get his moms approval before announcing and I told him then what the f*ck was the point of engaging in the first place. I was pissed to sit there and lie to save his ass. He said his mom thought that was very disrespectful and immature. She doesn’t see why I couldn’t wait until after and talk to him. She completely dismissed him lying to her face but that’s not my concern."

She concluded the post by saying, "I left the ring in his mailbox and haven’t seen them since. He’s tried contacting my family but I refuse to see him through until I get a true apology and not blaming me for this."

'Your ex-fiance is an idiot'

Almost 500 people left comments on the post, with all of them supporting OP. One user commented, "NTA. Your ex-fiance is an idiot, not to mention incredibly disrespectful toward you. I'm sure culturally he felt he was supposed to get their permission before getting engaged, but he didn't, and he needed to man up before you were introduced to his family. The idiot part comes in where he didn't talk to you before hand and get your agreement that you would pretend not to be engaged. Otherwise of COURSE you were going to wear your engagement ring to meet his family."

'They didn’t even know OP existed'

Another agreed, saying, "I mean they didn’t even know OP existed when they arrived. They had to ask who she was. They didn’t know he was seeing anyone, they didn’t know she was going to be there. After 4 years. That’s so far beyond 'play GF for a night'."

'Do not look back at this xenophobic ignorant family'

A frustrated user wrote, "NTA! So for a dinner party at this dude's house, you were expected to do all the cooking and preparation, then pretend to be only a girlfriend so 32-year-old dude's mommy won't get upset? Run like the wind and do not look back at this xenophobic ignorant family and make this dude your ex."

'He never meant to marry you'

A fourth user raged, "Yes OP, you are his "dirty little secret" he kept hidden from his parents. He never meant to marry you. I assume that you have been treating him like your future husband: doing wife things, and he likes that so he dangled the wife 'carrot' in front of you to make you continue to do those things. I assume that because you did everything necessary for that dinner. Even if he really does love you and wants to marry you, his family has higher priority than you, and you will never come first. Just look how he treated you! I'm so glad you are holding your ground and I hope you end up dumping his momma's boy a**. His mommy will always come first."

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