Internet supports man for skipping 'insensitive' eldest daughter's wedding
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Netizens fully supported a man for not attending his daughter's wedding as he wanted to celebrate his late child's first birthday. The man wrote on Reddit's 'AITA' forum that his oldest daughter's wedding was on March 25, he had another child on the same day with his second wife. However, the child died just three months when she died and he wanted to support his wife on that day.
"The wedding was on march 25, which coincides with my other daughters birthday. She was born March 25, 2022. She was barely 3 months when she passed away. My wife (not my eldest daughters mother) has been wanting to celebrate our daughter’s life on the date of her birth. I also didn’t feel it appropriate to leave my wife on this day since she is still grieving (as am I) and we haven’t fully come to terms with things," he said on Reddit.
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'I honestly don’t know if what I did was wrong?'
The man continued, "When my eldest daughter was planning her wedding, I told her I’m doubtful I’d be there if she chose this date. I understand march 25 is significant to her relationship and that’s why she chose it, but it just wasn’t feasible for me. I was not even in a good place mentally on that day. It was a day of tears," adding, "Obviously there is a lot of guilt about missing my eldest daughter's special day, but I honestly don’t know if what I did was wrong. Her side of the family has been sending me a lot of scathing messages, particularly her mother," he concluded questioning if AITA?"
'She wanted him to choose which is beyond cruel'
Netzens supported the man, saying that he did the right thing. A user wrote, "It is the 1 year anniversary. This isn't 30 years later they are prioritizing their lost child. Any therapist will speak to the impact of anniversaries, none more so than the first. OP please feel no shame over your grief. You are not putting one child over the other. You are surviving. It is unfortunate that it was the same date, but if she needed you there she could have moved it. I say NAH. I just hope you were both understanding of each other's positions."
Another posted, "Personally, and I’m sorry if this sounds cold, I’m of the mind that if she had truly needed me there, she had 364 other dates she could have chosen from where I would have been available. I let her know that I didn’t think the 25 was feasible for me. She was well aware. She chose that date anyway."
A third added, "If the daughter cared about his support she could’ve planned differently. The first birthday after the loss of your child is not a date anyone would be able to celebrate." A fourth claimed, "That is incredibly cold. It's been less than a year his kid died. Even if his older daughter wasn't theilled about having a half sibling, she shoukd support her father through this terrible time. If she wanted her father at her wedding she would have chosen a different date. She wanted him to choose which is beyond cruel in and of itself."
Another user asserted, "Living daughter had a choice on when to schedule her wedding. Her dad did NOT have a choice on scheduling what would have been the first birthday of his dead baby. I am not sure you totally understand "the need to grieve" here. The emotional response cannot be rescheduled for the convenience of others." "How about the living daughter supporting her father by choosing a different date of her half sister death. I can believe she could be so insensitive," another user wrote in the comments.
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