Internet split after woman asks if she should burn her dead sister's 'secrets'
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: Internet users are left in heartbreaking dilemma after woman asks for opinion on if she should burn diaries belonging to her sister, who died after a brief battle with cancer. The woman said after her sisters death she was packing her stuff when she came across the diaries. After reading them, she said it brought her fond memories, some of which she describes as happy and the others as sad, but as she got to read the diaries, it became so dark that she wished to have unread them.
The woman wrote on Reddit, "My sister passed away last week after a battle with cancer. I live closest to her home so i've been in charge of packing it up and closing it up so the landlord can rent it out to someone else." "In my packing up I discovered her diaries, both of us have kept diaries since we were little children as it was a hobby our Mum got us into i'd have never touched them while she was alive but I miss her and wanted to feel close to her again so i'll admit that I ended up reading them," she continued on the social media platform.
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'She was in a bad place in her life with the cancer'
In the Reddit post, she further added, "The childhood and teenage years diaries were what you'd expect nothing too shocking there and gave me lots of laughs and a few tears but when I got to later diaries it went sour, she was in a bad place in her life with the cancer and held a lot of resentment and dark thoughts some of which were targeted at the rest of the family such as our parents and me. I won't go into details but it was not an easy read and if I could unread it I would but what's done is done."
The woman continued, "I know for a fact our Mum will end up wanting to read the diaries too but I know that some of the things written on those pages will devastate her, especially knowing she'd been clueless to this struggle. I am considering destroying the later diaries and acting like I never found them or maybe she'd stopped writing and just give the childhood and teenage diaries over." At the end, she questioned, "Would this make me the a**hole? It's my sisters thoughts and feelings I know but I don't see the point in hurting our family any further than they've already been hurt."
'Don't do anything when everything is still so fresh!'
Internet users were left in awe after reading her post. Some of them advised her to llkeep them while others suggested her to do what would be 'right' according to her late sister. A Redditor wrote, " Yes this. Don't do anything when everything is still so fresh. Especially an action that can't be undone. Put them away and let some time set so you can get some perspective. NAH And I'm so sorry for your loss." Another added, "This is a difficult situation all around, and you're actively in pain. If I were in the situation, I'd box them up and put them away for the future when it's less raw."
A third advised, "NTA. Your sister is gone now. There’s no good reason to open up even more wounds when your parents are already grieving. I don’t think any benefit will come from it. You could maybe save some of the diaries from when she was young, but I don’t think your parents need the ones from when she had cancer." "I plan to keep all the ones from when she was a child and teenager and pass them on of course and the ones before cancer, i'd never destroy those ones I just am unsure what to do," said another user.
A fourth one noted, "I am with you here, There are NAH. This is a next to impossible situation to navigate. I think it might be best to box up the more questionable diaries and store them somewhere until everyone has some time to heal. Then in a few years, you can share them with your parents if they want to know about it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to protect your sisters memory and your parents feelings but destroying the diaries might be seen as a betrayal by your parents too. There is sadly no easy right or wrong answer here. I hope you keep them but understand why you might not."
Someone else noted, "NTA. I had to clear my best friends home after she and her boyfriend died in a car accident. We had discussed the 'just in case' at one point, I was under strict orders to dispose of all of her sex stuff, all her journals, and any computer tech that would affect the legacy she left behind for others. I have no doubt that your sister would not want her mother to know the darkest depths her mind reached in her final days.
The user further added, "If I can give you a piece of heartfelt advice - think of what she would have wanted rather than what is 'right' or 'wrong.' I have buried a lot of loved ones in the last 5 years and time and time again I have only been able to be at peace with my grief by asking myself, if they were here, standing beside me, what would they feel? How would they react? And trying to respect what I feel they would have wanted, regardless of whether it was what I would have preferred."
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