Internet hails dad who found ingenious way to make sure his child wouldn't get teased at school lunch
How often does a lunchbox cause mercurial problems at home? Not so often, which is why one Redditor’s experience, which he posted on the AITA platform for everyone to comment on, is bizarre. The poster, a Chinese man, 35, who is married to an Indian woman named Sara, 36, has a daughter named Lily, 11. He provides some background on the matter and first lets people know that Sara, who enjoys cooking Indian food, has always packed the same for her daughter’s lunches for school. Lily had no problems with her food before- but that stopped when she joined middle school. “Lily came sobbing to her mom and I about the lunches she took. The kids at school had been making fun of her food, which absolutely made my heart break,” the poster had said.
He then went on to detail that while Sara offered to speak to the school teachers about the kids who tease her, Lily was adamant about her not doing it for fear of being considered a “snitch.” However, Sara went on to address the issue at school anyway and then told Lily that she should ignore the other kids. “The same problem occurred every day, Lily would be coming home feeling extremely upset and there were even times Sara would yell at Lily for not even touching her school lunch… I know how brutal middle schoolers can be, and I didn't want Lily to feel insecure or upset even if it meant making her take other lunches, but Sara refuses to make other lunches.”
READ MORE
Reddit page shares HILARIOUS, unbelievable expectations entitled people have
‘She said I was denying Lily her culture’
The father, very worried about his daughter starving at school, had begun to pack other mainstream lunches like a sandwich or mac n’ cheese so she could eat without being teased. He switched his and his daughter’s lunchboxes and watched as his daughter came back home feeling a lot less sad and at ease with herself. However, two weeks in, Sara found out and was very angry. “She said I was denying Lily her culture and she needed to learn to stop being insulted by other kids, telling me I'm raising Lily to get whatever she wants.”
Redditors pitch in with their two cents
There were a lot of interesting takes on the issue, a lot which addressed cultural and societal pressures, along with the need for parents to be on the same page. “Your wife is not helping your daughter exert agency and make choices. Her dismissal of your daughter's concerns and wishes are bound to create resentment and will result in a massive blow-up when your daughter is older. Worse yet, it almost guarantees that she will reject all things related to her ancestral culture because she'll associate that culture with conflict on all sides,” one user said.
Another user told the poster to never blindside his wife, “I do want to add that OP definitely needs to talk to the child’s mother and NOT go behind her back. Parents /need/ to be on the same page. It really really really affects the kid.” "I would ask why his lunches were acceptable but hers werent. It sounds like mom is forcing her culture instead of working on it. That is so harmful," wrote another user.
“I feel so bad for the daughter and I'm glad her dad gets it. But it would fix most of this situation if the mom would get off her pride of lions and actually listen to her husband and her child and help her instead of trying to turn her into a movement,” a third user had said about the issue.
Another user defended the child as well, saying, “The mother must accept that this country is her home and so the daughter will also want to adapt.” Another user slammed the mother for being inconsiderate of her daughter’s choices, saying, “This is 100% your wife's issue, and she's going to cause her daughter to hate her culture because it's being forced on her in a way that is harmful.”