'Distance yourself': Internet cautions woman against mother-in-law's bizarre behavior with her grandson

According to her, her mother-in-law has been 'jealous from the get go of our relationship'

PUBLISHED MAR 16, 2023

Grandparents are supposed to love and spoil their grandchildren, but what if that love develops into an unheathy obsession? The Original Poster (OP), u/One_hell_of_a_lifeee, faced this conundrum with her mother-in-law and she described the scenario on Reddit's popular forum "Am I The A**hole." The post has since garnered more than 4k upvotes and almost 900 comments from fellow Redditors.

In the Reddit post titled, "AITA For thinking my MIL’s obsession with my son is absurd!?", OP begins by writing that she has a 4 year old son and is pregnant with another baby. According to her, her mother-in-law has been "jealous from the get go of our relationship." She says she "read up a bit on this, it’s to do with her not having their emotional needs met by a partner so they subconsciously use their son to meet those needs."

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'She never wanted to spend time with him around us'

She further details that when she was pregnant with her first child, her MIL "kept saying “my baby” and sometimes she would slip and start referring to her hubby as our child’s “brother”. The MIL "wanted to take him to spend alone time with him from the time he was a couple weeks old. And would be offended when we said no. She would always say that grandma loves him more than his parents do. She would kick up a giant stink whenever she wasn’t able to take him out alone, She never wanted to spend time with him around us."

OP also gave numerous instances where her mother-in-law has shown unhealthy attachment to her grandson.

She finished the post with, "Now that I’m having another baby (also a boy) I have been worried it’ll be the same thing all over again. But it’s not. I caught her telling my son (don’t worry you will be grandmas favourite always you are grandmas boy you won’t have to share I’ll always be your favourite person) and that is just horrible. She is saying things like “you and grandma can do things together and mum and dad can have the new baby”. am I the asshole for thinking that this is just absurd behaviour!?"

'Your MIL sounds dangerously mentally sick'

The post recieved almost 900 comments and Redditors unanimously found the women to be NTA (Not The A**hole) in this situation and suggested that she cut ties with her MIL before it's too late. One user wrote, "Your MIL sounds dangerously mentally sick. No is a complete sentence.You need to stick to your no. It is also super unhealthy for a child to hear these things. I'm surprised you have not had behavioral problems from your son. You need to nip this now. Stop allowing her to guilt you. Think of your son's well-being every time. Please do not allow her to have alone time with him and correct her when she makes statements that she is making. It's time to confront her without your son around. NTA."

Another user related their own experience with this kind of behavior, "NTA. My mother did this with my eldest. It only got worse as time went on. Years ago, I found out things were so much worse when she was alone with her. The woman put in a lot of effort convincing my daughter that I didn't love her and that I was wrong about everything. She actively destroyed our relationship, leaving me trying to raise a child who didn't trust or respect me. This wasn't just hard on me; it was detrimental to my daughter. It was also damaging to my middle child, who was treated as, at best, an afterthought. I went NC for years, but the damage was already done. If I could go back in time, I would've cut her off in the beginning."

A third user wrote, "NTA. Your MIL has serious issues. You need to implement firmer boundaries as this is going to (probably already is) effect your elder son’s development and attachment and also your unborn son’s development and attachment. You need to distance yourself from this woman for the sake of your children."

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.