Gail Simone hates 'X-Men: Dark Phoenix' so much that she has launched a #SupressThePhoenixCut movement
It's fairly well known that 'X-Men: Dark Phoenix' wasn't a well-received film, but not everyone has had the time and opportunity to watch it. Comics writer Gail Simone recently had both and live-tweeted her reactions to the film.
With her trademark biting wit, she eviscerated the movie tweet by tweet, even calling for the film to be suppressed entirely, with a call for the #SupressThePhoenixCut movement to begin.
The livetweet started on a humorous note, poking good-natured fun at the movie with gleeful inappropriateness, writing, "We are watching Dark Phoenix. There's more blue furries here than a Smurf orgy."
It wasn't long, however, before the low quality of the movie and its casting were apparent to Simone. "Am I wrong, or does it seem like casting took a real step backward in this one? Not trying to be mean but...huh," she wrote.
While she enjoyed the initial performances of Pietro Rasputin (Daniel Cudmore) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), she writes, "the rest of the cast seems so drowsy and uninvolved."
While there was some initial excitement for the appearance of fan-favorite X-Man Dazzler (Halston Sage), it was quickly replaced with disappointment that the character did not have a bigger role. "Movie, I can fix you," she insists. "Let me rewrite you and put in more Dazzler."
Gail Simone, who is a long time X-Men fan, found particular fault with the movie's handling of Storm (Alexandra Shipp) and Nightcrawler (Kodi Smit-McPhee). Relegated to supporting roles with little impact in the film, Simone feels like the characters have been severely underused.
"OH MOVIES GODDAMMIT WHY CAN’T YOU GET STORM RIGHT," she laments. "She’s STORM. She is a STAR. She's not the ice maker at a bad party." She later adds, "I honestly had no idea it would sting so bad to see another poor misuse of Ororo and Kurt."
Charles Xavier is another character who drew Simone's ire. "Phoenix is supposed to be terrifying but I am far more scared of onset catatonia brought about by an acute case of Xavier’s philosophical discussions," she wrote.
"ACTUAL MAGNETO QUOTE RIGHT NOW: 'You’re always sorry, Charles, and there’s always a speech. But no one cares anymore.' Dear movie. You speak what’s in our hearts."
Halfway through the movie, Gail Simone writes about just why this movie bothered her so much. "I’ve decided to start a hashtag movement for this movie. #SupressThePhoenixCut," she writes.
"I feel like I should stop, I don’t want to be mean. But this MOVIE. There was a time when the X-men were the biggest thing in comics and animation, they were bigger than the company that spawned them. This feels like a remake of a sad toy line. It’s only missing Dolphin Lundgren," she writes, referring to 'Masters of The Universe' star Dolph Lundgren.
The movie eventually got so bad that Gail Simone had to stop watching, as a Nightcrawler who murdered people without a trace of remorse was a step too far.
"Okay, smiling Murdercrawler did it for me. I’m tapping out. I don’t like anyone on this screen anymore," she wrote, though she didn't leave without throwing in one last parting shot - "Also, the Phoenix Effect is just a lava lamp and glitter paint. Good night, everyone."
Gail Simone has only written a single X-Men story in the comics so far, and it hilariously focuses not on the superhero team, but a group of actors taken hostage while shooting an 'X-Men' movie. You can read her entire livetweet takedown of the movie here.
