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Who was Phyllis Gates? Rock Hudson's wife claimed she didn’t know he was gay after three years of marriage

Hudson married Gates in order to maintain the facade of a heterosexual man in conservative Hollywood in the 1950s
PUBLISHED JUN 28, 2023
Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates (IMDb)
Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates (IMDb)

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Rock Hudson was a man of epic proportions. The legendary Hollywood star who suffered a fall from grace has come back into the public eye with the release of ‘Rock Hudson: All That Heaven Allowed’ on HBO and Max on June 28. While the documentary brings to the fore many unknown facts about the ‘Pillow Talk’ star, it also gives special attention to Hudson’s wife of three years - Phyllis Gates.

While the man himself attained notoreity because of his hidden gay affairs, myth surrounded the woman who married the star, allegedly not knowing about his amorous preferences. While some say it was all scripted, some are still of the opinion that she was a victim in the relationship, as one interviewee in the documentary said, to maintain the “personification of Americana,” Hudson married Gates in order to maintain the facade of a heterosexual man in conservative Hollywood in the 1950s. 

Rock Hudson and Phyllis gates (IMDb)
Rock Hudson and Phyllis gates (IMDb)

Gates however claimed “she was duped” in the marriage and had no idea that Hollywood’s leading man was in fact gay. Hudson’s biographer Mark Griffin contested the statement by saying, it “is really hard to swallow given the fact that virtually every bit player, makeup man, assistant gopher at Universal knew the score about Rock Hudson. How did she possibly miss the memo?”, as per People.

Who was Phyllis Gates?

Born in 1925, a talent agency secretary, Phyllis Gates rose to fame for her three-year-long tumultuous marriage with Rock Hudson. Hudson and Gates met in October 1954. After a brief dating period, they got married on November 9, 1955. The rosy days of their marriage lasted only until their honeymoon in Jamaica, after which trouble arose in their marriage. After Hudson went to Italy to finish shooting for ‘A Farewell to Arms’, Gates started being suspicious about her husband’s adultery, which was later confirmed by a friend. The close friend also informed her that Hudson was committing adultery with a man. The estranged couple divorced in 1958.

While in her autobiography she recorded that she did not know Hudson was gay when she married him, in an interview with Larry King, she revealed that the ‘Giant’ star was the “love of her life” and she never stopped loving him. 

Hudson’s biographer, Robert Hofler, however, said that Gates herself was lesbian, writing in the book, ‘The Man Who Invented Rock Hudson’, "Those who knew her (Gates) say she was a lesbian who tried to blackmail her movie star husband (Hudson).” He further wrote, "She then became addicted to being the wife of a star, and didn't want the divorce (...) Phyllis could play around with women, but Rock had to remain faithful to her. In a way, she was just being pragmatic: she feared that Rock's exposure would ruin his fame, which was in turn her gravy train."

Gates later became a celebrated interior decorator and died from lung cancer in 2006.

‘Are you that fast with boys?’

Towards the last few days of their marriage, Gates confronted Hudson for concealing his gay identity. As per the confidential files of private detective Fred Otash, as reported by The Hollywood Reporter, Gates secretly recorded Hudson’s confession. In 1958, she confronted her estranged husband by saying, “You told me you saw thousands of butterflies and also snakes,” continuing, “[A therapist] told me in my analysis that butterflies mean femininity and snakes represent that male penis. I’m not condemning you, but it seems that as long as you recognize your problem, you would want to do something about it.” 

She complained about his sexual performance with her, adding, “Are you that fast with boys?” To that, the then 32-year-old Hudson replied, “Well, it’s a physical conjunction [sic],” before adding, “Boys don’t fit. So, this is why it lasts longer.”

When Gates said, “Everyone knows that you were picking up boys off the street shortly after we were married and have continued to do so, thinking that being married would cover up for you,” Hudson quipped back with his legendary confession. He said, “I have never picked up any boys on the street,” before adding dramatically, “I have never picked up any boys in a bar, never. I have never picked up any boys, other than to give them a ride.”

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