'We Are Who We Are' Episode 3: Caitlin and Fraser's BFF bond amps up Richard and Sarah's problematic behavior
"My kind but not my type," mutters Commander Sarah Wilson to herself after her brief exchange with Major Jonathan, her underling. Episode 3 is an exploration of the types and kinds of people thrown together in the close proximity of the base as backyards and lives intertwined for better or for worse. Though, to be frank, it is the worst we see more of.
Before the Wilsons came to the base, a placid rythym and system existed on base within traditional roles, in terms of gender and otherwise — not everyone was happy within it — like Jenny and Danny or instance. Not everyone was truly themselves either, like Caitlin. And yet, the known patterns provided a balance and control that Richard tries to exercise so hard in his career, and family dynamics.
The Wilsons are like a rock that pierces the depths of a placid lake, setting off ripples everywhere. In Episode 3, it is 2016 but weeks have passed since the Wilsons arrived. Fraser and Caitlin are now BFFs rough-housing with each other and sharing a mutual curiosity to understand the "revolution happening inside".
Tomboy Caitlin realizes she doesn't identify as a girl, enthralled by the fuzz on Fraser's upper lip as Fraser tells her about the transgender identity that can blast through traditional gender identities. She also teases Fraser about his crush on Major Jonathan, even as he denies it saying that just because his mother is a lesbian doesn't mean that he has to be gay. To which she archly replies, "doesn't mean that you can't be gay either".
When the other teenagers, Caitlin's friend circle, assume they are dating, Fraser is surprised by the news while Cailin is indifferent. The bond between the two is the most wondrous, magical relationship that cannot be labeled and goes beyond the typical teenage boy-girl equation.
But their closeness also sets off a series of cracks through the relationships and claim on Caitlin and Fraser that already exist. Caitlin spends so much time with Fraser and she spends hardly any time with her dad, who she spent the most time with, or her friends.
Her indifference causes Richard to obsess about his daughter slipping away towards the Fraser and by extension, his nemesis, Sarah, who he calls "that kind of people" in the privacy of his home. Caitlin's indifference also causes Sam to break up with her and pining like a wounded puppy. This in turn upsets the friend group dynamic, affecting everyone from Britney to Danny. While Danny lashes out at Caitlin and then Fraser for destroying the only group he fit into. His resentment is amped up because Richard pretty much ignores him, the eldest son, in favor of Caitlin, who he thinks always steals "all the attention".
As the friend circle crumbles, Danny contemplates suicide only to be scolded by Craig who seems to be the only one spending time with him, trying to jolly him out of his depression. Richard on the other hand gets increasingly mad at his daughter and uneasy about her association with Fraser -- he intuits to some extent what is going on because he makes it a point to call Caitlin "young lady" (something he has never done) to ground her back into her gender identity.
At the Wilsons, things are no better. Just like some people are tone-deaf, Sarah is feeling-deaf — that is to say that she is unable to comprehend the mood or feelings of others, blithely tripping over every emotional minefield there is. In fact, at times, it feels like she is intentionally needling Fraser or minimizing Maggie's contributions as a mother because she wants all eyes on her.
She is the Commander, and star of the show and she treats everyone else like they are an extension of her self -- from Fraser to Maggie and also, increasingly, Caitlin, who she finds "intriguing" or even Jonathan, for that matter, who is "her type but not her kind". That doesn't stop her from close dancing with Jonathan, fully understanding the effect of this on Fraser. Her codependent relationship with Fraser that smothers and riles up (often resulting in a violent reaction from Fraser) but is never ever nurturing is absolutely baffling to watch.
In contrast, Jenny and Maggie strike up an unlikely friendship that seems to be shot through with a sexual tension that is beautifully portrayed in their soul-searching conversations of how they have shrunk themselves to fit into their respective 'star' spouses' lives and that final shot of their fingers meeting as they dive into the crust of the cake that has been neglected as they have been.
But for now, as magical as Caitlin and Fraser's relationship is or as beautiful the slow bloom of Jenny and Maggie's friendship is, the story is increasingly bending towards "how do you solve a problem like Sarah or Richard" that might be as impossible as catching a cloud and pinning it down.
The next episode of 'We are Who we Are' will air on October 5 on HBO at 10 pm ET.