Shawn Mendes says the constant need to prove he's not gay is getting too stressful
Mendes opened up about how he's constantly dealing with people trying to prove he's gay and what he does to let his fans know that he is not
Popular pop singer Shawn Mendes has revealed that he feels the need to prove to the world that he's not gay because of the constant rumors that float around regarding his sexuality.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, Mendes discussed how he has almost considered setting up photos of himself with women to make a point to the media and his fans.
"In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone - like a girl - in public, to prove to people that I'm not gay," says the young singer.
Because of so much pressure from the media, Shawn has even begun to over-analyze his gestures, concerned that they might signal that the singer is gay. He said, "Even though in my heart I know that it's not a bad thing. There's still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me."
The 20-year-old also rewatched old interviews, looking for specific markers, including his voice and body language, that might indicate to the audience that he is gay. "I'd like to say I don't care about it, but that's not true," he reveals. Though this predicament causes Shawn quite a bit of anxiety, he also says that being gay would be more mentally stressful as he would have to deal with coming out.
In a particularly frustrating moment last year, Mendes explained how difficult it was reading some YouTube comments about him being gay. "I thought, 'You guys are so lucky I'm not actually gay and terrified of coming out. That's something that kills people. That's how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I'm gay?"
The 'Lost in Japan' hitmaker has been dealing with questions surrounding his sexuality for some time now. Last year, he posted a Snapchat story telling his fans that he was not gay. In the story, he said, "I noticed a lot of people were saying I gave them a 'gay vibe'. First of all, I'm not gay. Second of all, it shouldn't make a difference if I was or wasn't."
When Taylor Swift uploaded a video featuring Shawn with glitter on his face, people were back to speculating about his sexual orientation. Though he allowed Swift to put up the video, he regretted it later.
"I felt sick," he said. "I was like, 'Why did I let her post that?' I just fed the fire that I'm terrified of." Despite the initial anxiety he felt when the video was posted, Mendes is happy that a different side of him was visible to his fans.
Growing up with 15 female cousins, he is used to " braiding hair and painting nails." The singer appreciates who he is and unapologetic for the same, "Maybe I am a little more feminine — but that’s the way it is. That’s why I am me.”