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Sarah Jessica Parker had to 'parent' ex Robert Downey Jr during his struggles with substance abuse: 'I had given him stability'

Sarah Jessica Parker and Robert Downey Jr began dating after meeting on the set of 'Firstborn' when they were both 18 years old

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Sarah Jessica Parker, who stars in 'And Just Like That…' Season 2, recently delved into her turbulent relationship with Robert Downey Jr, shedding light on her experience of taking on a parental role while they were together. The former couple faced significant challenges primarily due to Downey's widely-known struggles with substance abuse.

Parker opened up about the dynamics of their romance in their early twenties, where she found herself providing stability in the relationship in contrast to his erratic lifestyle. Their difference often left her feeling undervalued by those around him and led her to describe herself as feeling like a parental figure at the young age of 22.

'I had given him stability'

"People around him would be dismissive of me, but I had given him stability and tried to create a steady heartbeat that allowed him to show up on time. That made me angry and embarrassed me," she said of her ex in an interview with The New Yorker. The 'Sex and the City' star had said, "There was a huge amount of time spent making sure he was OK. At a certain point, I had the courage to say, 'I'm going to walk away and I'm just going to pray that you don't die'," in a 2018 interview.

Parker believes her relationship with Downey taught her how to love, comparing her love for him during his battle with addiction to the love a parent has for their child. "Maybe it taught me a little bit about being a parent, too," she said, adding, "because the things that I ended up caring about and the way I cared for Downey, were things that might be more suitable for a parent."

Sarah Jessica Parker and Robert Downey Jr dated for seven years (1984-1991)

Parker and Downey first crossed paths while working together on the set of the 1984 drama 'Firstborn' when they were both 18 years old. Their connection quickly deepened, and they took a significant step in their relationship by moving in together a mere eight weeks after they started dating. After a seven-year relationship, the actors decided to part ways in 1991. Despite sharing lighthearted jokes about having a Jewish wedding with flamenco dancers at the Le Mondrian Hotel, their plans for a future together were disrupted due to Downey's struggles with addiction.

Downey shared in 2008, "I liked to drink, and I had a drug problem, and that didn't jibe with Sarah Jessica, because it is the furthest thing from what she is. She provided me a home and understanding. She tried to help me. She was so miffed when I didn't get my act together. I was in love with Sarah Jessica . . . and love clearly was not enough." He further stated that they shared a "very conservative relationship considering the fact that she was normal, and I was out of my mind."

'I just didn’t want him to die'

Parker also revealed that she chose to stay with Downey even when her romantic feelings faded. Her decision stemmed from a deep-seated fear that if she were to leave him, Downey might meet a tragic end. "Eventually, I guess I just summoned the courage to leave him," Parker shared, adding, "The biggest hardest choices about those kinds of relationships are feeling brave enough to leave, even if you think they’re going to die. Because you stay, not because you’re in love anymore- You love this person, and you’re afraid they’re gonna die if you aren’t there to shore up their base every single solitary day… I just didn’t want him to die."