'She's protecting him': Internet sides with woman who kept in-laws in dark about pregnancy despite her husband being 'hurt'
Having a baby is a special moment for any couple, and more often than not, the first people that we inform about the pregnancy are our families. However, one couple chose to keep their family in the dark and posted their dilemma on Reddit’s AITA platform, where they were given multiple opinions by a swarm of Redditors. The user, who is pregnant, found out about her pregnancy in December but had not announced it to anyone until recently.
The news was received with warmth and excitement by her family- with whom the couple is very close and vacations often as well. However, the husband’s estranged family keeps themselves at arm’s length and chooses to be mean whenever they meet for awkward thanksgiving dinners. “They don't like my husband and have been telling me to leave him and save myself since I got together with him (he was severely depressed at that time and had no goals- he's much different now but they still hold it against him years later),” she says, of her husband’s family.
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The couple had suffered a miscarriage once before
The couple was already pregnant once before and had lost the child, and the reception to either news from the husband’s side of the family has been cool at best. “None of his family was excited [about the pregnancy] and when they found out we miscarried they said it was "for the best". So, this time around I truly don't care if they know. I don't care to tell them. I don't like them as people and I certainly don't like how they treat my husband.”
Given their extreme indifference toward the couple, the wife had announced the pregnancy to her own family in an elaborate announcement that took a large amount of meticulous planning and had suggested a Facebook post to announce the pregnancy to her husband. However, this did not go well with the husband. “He asked why my family got a special announcement but his doesn't and I said "we can do a special announcement if you want but I don't see the point because they won't be excited and they will not care, just like the first time around." I wasn't trying to be dismissive about it but I guess I kind of am in the same sense because his family aren't good people,” the wife had posted. She goes on to state that her husband was hurt by her "dismissiveness" toward his family, while she is not happy about him turning their pregnancy announcement into a grab for his family’s approval.
What do the Redditors say?
While users seem to empathize with the wife’s treatment of her husband’s family, it seems they do not like the way the husband was not consulted in her decision. “This isn't about your in laws. This is about your husband and the fact he's proud to be a father and want to announce that to his family in a special way. Just like how you had your moment and felt special he wants the same thing,” a user had commented.
Another user had asked for her to go through with an elaborate announcement so that the husband’s family would react just as she expected and her husband may finally see that it was a waste of time. “As much as it hurts, sometimes you have to let people do something you disagree with until they realize and accept reality. OP should let him do this and be there to support him when it goes like she expects,” the user had said. A third user had taken the OP’s side completely, saying that they would not want to waste their breath on people who had coolly dismissed her miscarriage. “I would not be down to frankly EVER have to interact with someone who thought it was okay to tell me my miscarriage was “for the best,” the user said.
One more user had also taken the wife’s side, recognizing her efforts to protect her husband from further hurt. “I think her husband is blinded by hope and family and OP sees clearly that these people are not going to be a part of their lives and not going to change. She’s protecting her husband.” “I think you should let your husband do as he wishes, if he wants to plan a part to announce the birth of your child let him. It seems to be important to him to at least try,” another user said, taking the husband’s side and urging the poster to give the husband’s family the benefit of the doubt.
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.