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Experts reveal why being a workaholic can spell 'relationship disaster' amid Kevin Costner divorce drama

Kevin Costner’s second wife, Christine Baumgartner, filed for divorce on Monday, May 1, after 18 years of marriage
PUBLISHED MAY 4, 2023
Kevin Costner’s second wife, Christine Baumgartner, filed for divorce on Monday, May 1, after 18 years of marriage (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Elton John AIDS Foundation )
Kevin Costner’s second wife, Christine Baumgartner, filed for divorce on Monday, May 1, after 18 years of marriage (Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Elton John AIDS Foundation )

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Kevin Costner’s luxurious life has again hit a rocky patch as he is going through a tough divorce for the second time in his life. The 68-year-old actor’s second wife, Christine Baumgartner, filed for divorce on Monday, May 1, after 18 years of marriage. Citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for the breakup, Baumgartner, 49, listed their date of separation as April 11 and requested joint custody of their three children, Cayden, 15, Hayes, 14, and Grace, 12.

This divorce came just a few months after Baumgartner reportedly asked Costner to quit the hit series ‘Yellowstone’ because his busy filming schedule was impacting their family. "It's knocked a hole in their family life," one of her friends told RadarOnline in October 2022. "She wants a firm commitment this is his last season — or he might have to hit the dusty trail!" But, the ‘Bodyguard’ star, who is often referred to as a workaholic, ignored Baumgartner’s request and continued to lead a busy lifestyle.

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How busy is too busy?

Being career-obsessed can be as detrimental to a relationship as the more obvious betrayals like cheating, relationship experts told FEMAIL. British dating expert Tina Wilson told the outlet that people, like Hollywood stars, who "consciously put their careers first,” risk "relationship disaster" if they do not "compromise and prioritize" their spouse. Hope Flynn, the founder of FeedMeFemale, also reflected on the matter and said that when a person is a workaholic, it can feel like they are choosing their work over their partner.

Kevin Costner speaks onstage during the 26th annual Art Directors Guild Awards at InterContinental Los Angeles Downtown on March 05, 2022 in Los Angeles, California.
Kevin Costner speaks onstage during the 26th annual Art Directors Guild Awards at InterContinental Los Angeles Downtown on March 05, 2022 in Los Angeles, California (Alberto E Rodriguez/Getty Images)

"Dating a workaholic can make people feel disconnected from their partners which in turn can make that person feel less desirable and less attractive as they are not a priority," Flynn noted, adding, "This can be frustrating for the person in the relationship "outside of work". If work and work’s demands are causing them to continually be stressed, this impacts the person's wellbeing and in turn, can impact their partner and their family." However, relationship expert Kate Mansfield emphasized that dating a celebrity or well-known actor would always entail giving up your romantic time.

(L-R) Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 94th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on March 27, 2022 in Hollywood, California.
(L-R) Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 94th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on March 27, 2022 in Hollywood, California (David Livingston/Getty Images)

‘Find a partner with a less consuming career’

"It’s just the reality of their job. Celebrities have always had this problem, it’s an unfortunate part of being extremely successful and I think as the partner you need to accept it or find a partner with a less consuming career," Kate explained. Relationship expert and creator of Wingman Tina Wilson offered advice on how to work through the issue, noting, "I would suggest a couple going through this situation talk openly about what it is they are ready for and what future lifestyle they envision. It could be they love each other but if their lives are no longer compatible then they are ultimately drifting apart and one will resent the other."

(L-R) Grace Avery Costner, Kevin Costner, Hayes Logan Costner, Christine Baumgartner, and Cayden Wyatt Costner attend the premiere of 20th Century Fox's
(L-R) Grace Avery Costner, Kevin Costner, Hayes Logan Costner, Christine Baumgartner, and Cayden Wyatt Costner attend the premiere of 20th Century Fox's "The Art of Racing in the Rain" at El Capitan Theatre on August 01, 2019 in Los Angeles, California (Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images)

'Recipe for relationship disaster'

"If, like Tom Brady and Kevin Costner, one party is consciously putting their careers first, it can indicate they do not prioritize their relationship and it is a recipe for relationship disaster if compromises are not made by both parties because a relationship is all about give and take," Wilson said, with Flynn adding, "Communication is key to a healthy relationship and when a problem such as work gets in the way a healthy line of communication needs to open up." The FeedMeFemale founder added that couples can work through this issue while taking care of a few factors including "emotional well-being, trust, respect, and friendship."

No laptops in the bedoom

Jim Toth (L) and Reese Witherspoon attend The 23rd Annual Critics' Choice Awards at Barker Hangar on January 11, 2018 in Santa Monica, California.
Jim Toth (L) and Reese Witherspoon attend The 23rd Annual Critics' Choice Awards at Barker Hangar on January 11, 2018 in Santa Monica, California. (Christopher Polk/Getty Images for The Critics' Choice Awards )

"Boundaries need to be created and they can be done so in small ways such as not bringing any laptops or work-related things into the bedroom, scheduling time together at least once a week like a date night, and taking a specified time to talk to your partner about their work as it’s important to them but keep within a time frame," Flynn added. However, the ‘3 Days to Kill Star’ is not the only celebrity whose demanding schedule or work ethic has hampered their romance.

(L-R) Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen attends the 2019 Hollywood For Science Gala at Private Residence on February 21, 2019 in Los Angeles, California.
(L-R) Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen attends the 2019 Hollywood For Science Gala at Private Residence on February 21, 2019 in Los Angeles, California (Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

As per reports, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn's romance also struggled because of their disparate professional paths. A source close to the pair told Daily Mail that Joe's struggles to launch his career created a gulf between the pair, particularly as Taylor prepared to resume touring. It was also reported that Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth allegedly maintained separate lives for several months before their divorce, which was said to be fuelled by the actress' busy schedule. The same happened with Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, who decided to go their separate ways because of the NFL star’s devotion to his game. An insider previously revealed that the model filed for divorce because she felt her partner "wasn't as attentive as he should've been."

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