"It will tear you open like nothing else": James Van Der Beek and wife Kimberly reveal the pain of three miscarriages
The 41-year-old actor also discussed the agonizing grief he'd experienced, in the meantime also urging people to recognize and embrace the changes caused by the situation
In a heartbreaking post on Instagram on Sunday, James Van Der Beek revealed that his wife, Kimberley, had suffered three miscarriages. The Dawson's Creek star, who is a father to five children with Kimberly: Olivia, Joshua, Annabel, Emilia, and Gwendolyn, wrote a post about the terminology of the word miscarriage.
In the picture accompanying the post, Van Der Beek can be seen cozying up to his wife and daughter, while he spoke about how a new word should be created to describe the situation as he penned: "Mis-carriage", saying that it somehow suggests fault for the mother, as if she dropped something, or failed to "carry."
In his post, he insisted that no one should be blamed for the heartbreaking situation of losing a child during pregnancy. He wrote, "Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we've had three over the years (including right before this little beauty)...First off - we need a new word for it. 'Mis-carriage', in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to 'carry'..."
"From what I've learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn't do. So let's wipe all blame off the table before we even start. (sic)"
The 41-year-old actor also discussed the agonizing grief he'd experienced, in the meantime also urging people to recognize and embrace the changes caused by the situation. He said, "Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It's painful and it's heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don't judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it's rightful space."
"And then... once you're able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before."
He continued, "Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before." He also encouraged his fans and followers to join in a discussion on the particular subject.
"I've heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly (sic)"