Internet slams daughter's reason for giving away her dad's $700 birthday gift to her
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: A woman was branded as 'ungrateful' after she told her father that an expensive standmixer he gifted her on her birthday was "extremely ugly" and gave it away to a friend. Reddit user u/standmixerthrowaway shared the story on the popular "Am I The A**hole" forum.
Many of us, especially those who had a privileged upbringing, do not value the people around us. A kind gesture is a wonderful thing only if the one on the receiving end is grateful for it. Nowadays, however, genuine acts of love and concern are often taken for granted — even if they are shown by those closest to us.
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In this case, the OP in question does come across as an ungrateful soul. However, there is at least some semblance of a redemption arc in this story. "AITA for giving away an expensive KitchenAid standmixer my dad got me for my birthday that I thought looked extremely ugly?" Redditor u/standmixerthrowaway asked the internet in a thread on the "Am I The A**hole" forum, before explaining the situation at length.
'I honestly wasn't trying to be rude'
"Background: for my 24th birthday, my dad got me a grey metal KitchenAid standmixer for my apartment. It was about $700 I think. However, I did NOT ask for this and honestly, I freaking hate the color as it does not match anything in my place and it's also too big," she wrote. "I gave it to my friend who liked it and was moving to a different state. My boyfriend then got me a cute black standmixer that fit into my apartment a lot better so that's what I have."
"My dad was over last night and he noticed that the grey standmixer was gone and replaced by the black one. He asked where it was and I told him the truth (namely, that I thought the grey was ugly so I gave it to my friend and my boyfriend got me the black one instead)," the OP continued. "My dad was shocked and said the grey standmixer had cost a lot and that he thought I would have liked it so that's why he gave it to me as a present. Maybe here's where I'm the AH: I said if he would have been more observant, he would have known that I absolutely hate the color grey (it's my least favorite color) and everyone in my life who knows me knows that."
She added, "I honestly wasn't trying to be rude. I was just stating a fact. But my mom called me today and told me I really hurt my dad and need to apologize for "throwing away" a thoughtful birthday gift my dad had put a lot of money and thought into. I don't think that's necessary. I think after my dad gave me the standmixer, it became mine and I could do anything with it. And I didn't "throw it away", I gave it to a friend. So AITA?"
(Reddit)
There was some back and forth with the OP in the comments section. "YTA over color? Why didn't you just tell him you want to exchange it for a different color," one asked, to which the OP replied, "The size was way too big as well and I didn't want to bother him or me with the logistics of exchanging it for a different kind." Another fellow Redditor wondered, "You didn't want to bother with him getting his $700 back? You are seriously ungrateful and inconsiderate." OP responded by saying, "I thought it would have been more rude to ask him to return it? That seems a lot less polite imo than just accepting a gift as is."
'It's time to come back down to earth'
An overwhelming majority of responders branded the OP an a-hole for her actions. "YTA. this is one of those instances where it's time to come back down to earth," one commented, "Because at age 24, expecting people in your life to know your least favorite color is absolutely bizarre. and saying it's because he isn't observant is wildly mean. did you even thank him for the $700 gift?"
"F***ing hell. The attitude on you is absolutely astounding, dude. YTA," another fumed. "For starters, saying you hate grey but love black makes absolutely no sense. Almost any color scheme you can pair with black works with grey. Also, you’re 24. Grow up. Not everyone knows your least and most favorite colors unless they ask. In fact, most people only know others’ favorite colors."
"OP is a brat who doesn’t even appreciate a gift that most people drool over," someone else added. "All because it’s not the right color - are you kidding me? If someone gifted me an ugly brown (my least favorite color) KitchenAid or other expensive product I might be a bit disappointed with the color but ecstatic to have this really nice thing that I never would have splurged on for myself."
After reading the barrage of comments, the OP appeared to have realized her mistake and said she would apologize to her father. Nonetheless, she did offer a few more justifications for her bizarre conduct. "Okay so clearly I'm the asshole. I'll apologize to my dad," she wrote. "I didn't think it was such a big deal. But clearly, I'm wrong." The OP added, "To explain some things: 1) I didn't say the "observant" comment to hurt him, he kept saying he picked out grey because it matches everything (which it does not) so that's why I elaborated on me hating grey 2) literally everyone I'm close with (except my dad I guess) knows I HATE grey. It's almost a running joke at this point 3) my friend is really into cooking/baking and I wanted to give her a moving-away gift, she's not just some "rando" person I gave it to."
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