'In My Skin' Ending Explained: Bethan left to deal with consequences after her fantasy and reality collide
All through 'In My Skin', we see Bethan (Gabrielle Creevy) lie constantly. She lies to Lydia (Poppy Lee Friar) and Travis (James Wilbraham) about how much having her poem published means to her -- passing it off as a bit of clever twaddle to impress the English teacher. She doesn't tell them that the ending phrase of the poem "wrong daughter" is what her mother, Trina (Jo Hartley), calls her in a manic episode when she has "no filters". She doesn't tell them that her mother wished she had drowned Bethan the moment she was born and is still grieving over her "other" daughter who had died at childbirth.
She lies to her friend Lydia, saying that her dad was in the ER for slicing his hand so that she can go to Poppy's (Zadeiah Campbell-Davies) home and soak in the normalcy and stability of her middle-class home. She lies to her teacher about why she missed her exam, not telling her that she is scared to leave her mother alone with her father.
The biggest of all her lies to her friends, to Poppy, and to her teachers at school is that she is a normal teenager, with a strict mom who works in human resources and a boring father who is a tax officer. In her fantasy family life, she is frequently whisked off to ballet recitals and musicals when, in actuality, she is dealing with her mother's latest breakdown or cleaning up after her father.
It is a constant balancing act to appear normal when she is constantly in a precarious position, living on a knife's edge. To her, this double life is better than getting looks of pity or worse laughter when everyone knows the truth. By the end of episode 5, Bethan is on a triumphant high. She has shown Poppy her place for rejecting her by becoming the head girl and insinuating in front of the whole school that Poppy is a "two-faced" popular girl, only being nice when she can get something out of others.
She is cheered on by not just her own friends but also Poppy's ex-bestie who has similarly been cast aside, which in turn leads the whole auditorium full of students to burst out clapping. At this moment, her reality very closely resembles the fantasy she had in an earlier episode -- her rocking out while everyone stands around in a circle applauding her magnificent hair and makeup.
It is the only time the series really falters because this 'head girl' moment doesn't ring true and is a bit of a wish-fulfillment fantasy. In reality, Poppy would probably still have won and said something snarky, and Lydia would have called Poppy a "c**t" before Lydia, Bethan, and Travis stomped off.
But we don't really mind the win because we've been "in it" with Bethan since episode 1 and are just glad she has caught a break. As if to make up for the little bit of unreality, we have a very real ending to contrast with this 'fantasy'.
Throughout the series, Bethan keeps waiting for 'sane' Trina to emerge -- the kind, somewhat child-like woman who responds to her love and has lucid conversations because it is almost like having a mother. After her 'Head girl' win, she goes to the psychiatric facility to share the news with Trina. When she does, her mother more interested in dancing with her, looks at her blankly and then says, "of course, you are always my head girl, my top girl."
It is at that moment that Bethan realizes that she will never have a "normal" mother. And with that realization comes a sort of peace and an acceptance of her mother for who she is and can be, instead of who she isn't and never will be. So she clasps Trina's hand and starts dancing with her, like Trina wants, being with her in the only way she can understand.
And just at this moment of peaceful reconciliation, local volunteers from her school walk in and see her dancing with her mother. It is Poppy and her newest girl clique, who, after spotting Bethan, looks on with confusion, pity, and bewilderment. When Bethan's two lives collide -- her fantasy and her reality -- she looks like a scared deer in the headlights. Her biggest lie is now out in the open just when she had made peace with it at a personal level.
At that moment, the recently-defeated Poppy holds all the cards. Even if Poppy isn't actively cruel, Bethan's social life will be destroyed by the whispers going around school about her "abnormal mother" as she navigates being the head girl. As someone who doesn't want pity, scorn, or laughter, she will be a recipient of all three. Worst, her calling Poppy "two-faced" will also come back to haunt her. 'In My Skin' definitely needs a season 2 to tie off that massive cliff hanger.
'In My Skin' premiered on Hulu on July 30 and is available to stream.
