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Holly Madison calls first night with Hugh Hefner 'traumatic', says 'I was wasted'

Model Holly Madison dated the founder of Playboy magazine from 2001 to 2008
UPDATED DEC 16, 2021
Hugh Hefner and girlfriend playboy model Holly Madison hug during a birthday party. (Photo by David Klein/Getty Images)
Hugh Hefner and girlfriend playboy model Holly Madison hug during a birthday party. (Photo by David Klein/Getty Images)

Model Holly Madison has called her experience of having sex with Hugh Hefner for the first time 'traumatic'. Madison made the big revelation on the 'Power: Hugh Hefner' podcast on Monday, December 13.

"I was wasted," she said, adding that "he was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would." 


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The actress of 'Girls Next Door' dated the founder of Playboy magazine from 2001 to 2008. She recalls her first meet with Hefner when she and other women went to the Playboy mansion with Hefner where things escalated quite quickly and did not give her time to understand anything.

She further added, "I was not necessarily expecting to have sex that night. I thought it would be more of a first date- even though, obviously, it is not very traditional first date." She also said, "I thought it would be more the type of thing where I saw what happened, saw what was going on. If I was not comfortable with it, I would not have to do anything and I could make my decision on whether I wanted to come back for date number two or not." 

While Madison loved her relation with Hefner at the time, what scared and dreaded her was that all of the other ladies knew that she and the famed philanderer have been sleeping together.

Television personality and model Holly Madison (L) and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner appear in Madison's dressing room (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images for BASE Entertainment)

She said, "I thought he was really smart, I really looked up to him, so I liked him, and it was not that the idea of possibly having sex with him repelled me so much- I know that is not relatable to a lot of people because they are like, 'Oh! he is an old man, gross'". Madison continued, "It was more the group aspect that was really out of my comfort zone and just the feeling of 'Wow, Ok, that happened. Everybody knows it happened.' I kind of all of a sudden felt like everybody was going to know about me, and I was horrified by it." 

Even though she wanted to leave, she felt the pressure to stay at the mansion and spend the night. She added, "I felt like, there's no taking that back, so I might as well get what I came for. I felt like by moving myself in and getting what I wanted from the situation, that was demanding respect in a way." The model concluded the interview by calling the moment a 'traumatic' experience.