'Hold your ground': Internet supports woman who refused to pick 'miracle baby' niece as flower girl
A woman's revelation that she does not want her niece to be the flower girl at her wedding has sparked debate on the Internet. The scenario was posted by the u/miraclebabyniece in the popular Reddit' subcategory 'Am I The A**hole?' where it received 22K upvotes and nearly 5K comments.
In a Reddit post titled "AITA for not letting my miracle baby niece be my flower girl at my wedding?" OP, 27, starts off by saying, "My older brother and SIL (both mid 30's) just welcomed their first child a year and a half ago, after YEARS of trying. After many failed attempts, SIL was told that she wouldn't be able to conceive due to a medical condition she has, they finally got pregnant."
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Op continued, "Since having my niece, the baby has been the center of attention at EVERY family even we've had since she was born. Birthday's, wedding's, family get togethers, you name it. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE my niece, but it can get to be a little too much when my SIL goes on and on about how long they tried to conceive, complications they've had, miscarriages they've had etc. Like a little TOO much info. Many family members have commented on how it's a little bit excessive, but no one has said anything because they don't want to sound like an AH."
'What more do you expect me to do?'
Op revealed that she was getting married next spring and her brother and sister asked her to take OP 's niece as a flower girl, but OP refused, having already promised that position to her soon-to-be stepdaughter, 6. "[SIL] then starting going off about how my lack of effort to incorporate my niece is disgusting to her. I should "honor her" in some way since I know how long and hard they tried for my niece." Op finaly snapped, saying, "Incorporate my niece how? By the time the wedding comes around she'll be 2 years old. The ENTIRE family already knows your story about how long and hard you guys tried for her. What more do you expect me to do to honor her?"
Op concluded the post, saying, "I'm firm in my decision though, and my fiancé is thankful that I didn't let his daughter down. AITA for not allowing my niece to be the flower girl?"
'Their miracle baby, not yours'
Almos 5K people left comments on the post, with all of them supporting the OP. One user commented, "NTA (Not The A**hole) she's their miracle baby, not yours. The fact that they want you to disappoint you soon to be stepdaughter, in order to make their daughter the focus of your wedding is absurd," while another agreed saying, "This miracle baby stuff is so obnoxious. I guess my baby would be a "miracle" baby too, but why would I go on and on about my infertility to everyone I know and throw myself a pity party over it? The baby is going to be a normal baby, like everyone else's baby. Also 2 years old is too young for a flower girl. You never know how they are going to behave, and with all the other things going on at a wedding it's one more thing to have to worry about. I had my 4 year old nephew be the "flower boy" and he threw a tantrum and didn't even go out, which was a huge pain in my ass. OP shouldn't even give her sister the time of day on this. Definitely NTA."
'They're self centered jerks'
A third commented saying, "NTA. If they don't understand why breaking a promise to your future stepdaughter is a bigger issue than letting your sister carry her toddler down the aisle, they're self centered jerks. Point out this is you making sure your stepchildren are welcome and feel like they belong. Put your foot down HARD on this bullshit. Your niece is not more important than your stepdaughter to you, any more than your stepdaughter would not be more important than your niece to her."
A concerned user said, "That poor little baby. Your SIL needs to get some counseling while the child is still young enough, or she's going to ruin that little girl's life with her weirdness. Entitlement, expectations, the burden of being made to feel special just for having been born. That poor kid should get the chance to have a normal childhood. This is probably not the right time, but when this ridiculousness blows over, (hopefully) you should suggest to your brother that your SIL see a therapist about these feelings. NTA for standing up for your soon to be stepdaughter. 6 is old enough for this to be an important day for her," while anothe agreed saying, "Best response on this thread. My journey to motherhood wasn’t easy, lots of loss and pain. So I empathize with her SIL, it can really mess you up. OP’s SIL isn’t doing her child any favors by treating her like this. I agree she needs to work with professional to help her heal. She likely doesn’t realize that she’s making those around her uncomfortable. I feel for the kid because if her mom doesn’t get help babe will turn into an entitled monster."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.