Internet slams dad for dismissing daughter's work as 'just sitting on her a** on her computer all day'
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: The relationship between a father and daughter is one of the most special bonds known to man. There are times, however, when either party resents the other simply due to circumstances at hand.
In this case, a 54-year-old dad turned to the internet for advice after clashing with his 28-year-old daughter while she was at home on break from grad school working on her PhD. While the daughter insisted she was drowning in work despite the month-long break, her father did not seem to agree and expected her to run errands during her stay.
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'AITA for asking my daughter for help?'
Taking to the popular Reddit forum 'Am I The A**hole (AITA)', the dad laid out the situation on a thread titled 'AITA for asking my daughter for help?' as he sought advice from fellow Redditors.
I'm 54 and my daughter is 28. She is home on break from grad school getting her Ph.D. She's only home for two weeks because she says she doesn't have any more time even though she has a month's break. That's been a big thing with her lately, she is constantly too busy to do things with us or help us out even though she does have the time.
I got my younger daughter a sweater and it turns out she already has it. I called my older daughter from work on Friday and told her she needed to run and exchange it for a different one. She said ok, she'd do it the next day. I said it needed to be done that day to get the best options and she said she was grading so she can't. I told her that it's not like she can't pause her grading, run out, and exchange it. She said she wasn't going to slow down her work and just said that I should do it when I got back from work that day. I said I was busy too and didn't feel like running out after a long day of work and she said neither did she.
'She's sitting on her a** on her computer all day'
The OP, however, did not think her daughter had a "long day of work." He continued:
She's sitting on her a** on her computer all day and doesn't even have scheduled hours to work, she can do it whenever she wants. Today things really kicked off because I needed her to pick up an online order for a gift for my mom, her grandma. She again used the excuse of grading (she hadn't even started working yet, it was in the morning and she was drinking coffee and having breakfast.)
She said that she needs to have her grades done by today but I looked it up on the website and she has until Monday evening, so I called her on her BS, and she said she had "other work" due on Monday so she needed to get the grading done today (but wouldn't enlighten me on what this mysterious "other work" is). I said well tough, this needs to be picked up today so I can wrap it and I was going into the office so I couldn't do it. She said that if I don't want to do it myself, then it will be done on her own time.
I told her with that attitude she can stay somewhere else and she said "happily" and packed her things claiming she didn't want to stay here anyway but was only doing so because I insisted. She left her gifts and said to not expect her for the holidays and that she'll go to her girlfriend's family instead.
The dad turned to the internet for advice after his wife and other daughter became "furious" with him.
I think it's ridiculous that she is throwing a fit just because she can't constantly live like she's the only person on the planet but my wife and other daughter is now furious with me. So I figured I'd ask here because my younger daughter is always reading the stories with me. AITA or am I correct that my daughter is self-centered and childish?
Commenters overwhelmingly agreed that the OP was at fault.
"YTA [You're the a-hole]. 'Am I correct that my daughter is self-centered and childish?' Nope, that's a mirror you are looking at," one responded.
"Seriously. This grown man is throwing a temper tantrum because his adult daughter isn’t willing to take orders and run his errands. I hope she has an awesome Christmas with her girlfriend!" another wrote.
"YTA. This must be a joke… too many ridiculous assertions. The first, suggesting that sitting at a computer isn’t work/hard work. Mainly, that you can be surprised she doesn’t want to visit when you just use her as an errand girl when she does. Also, none of your requests were urgent so why on earth can’t she get them done in her own time?? If you’re asking a favor, don’t be so demanding," a comment read.
"OP is an AH and must not know the amount of work and tight scheduling a Ph.D. requires, even when it works at one's own hours. I'm doing a Ph.D., I'm exhausted 75% of the time and sometimes have unpleasant hours. I totally get OP's daughter wanting to enjoy vacations in peace jfc," another chimed in.
"YTA. OP, you’re only 54 and are expecting your daughter to run errands for you like she’s a paid shopping assistant. You played the 'I’m your [dad] and you must obey me' card and you lost. I’m pushing 80 and I never ask my young relatives to do something for me that I’m capable of doing myself or hiring done..." someone else added.
