Internet sides with man who cut ties with parents for 'nicknaming' his newborn twins
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Deciding baby names is probably one of the most daunting tasks parents face after the birth of a child -- especially since everyone in the family (and outside of it) has their own set of propositions.
Even before the baby is born, there are debates and discussions (often heated) on their potential nomenclature and everyone, including your local hairdresser, is suddenly an expert on the subject. In this case, a conflicted man turned to the internet for advice after clashing with his own parents over the names he chose for his twins. Well, the verdict was overwhelmingly unanimous and did not disappoint.
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The man, who identified himself as Frederick Lawrence (his first and middle name), took to Reddit's 'AITA' forum and laid out the situation for his fellow Redditors' perusal. "AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my parents that my wife and I do not want them renaming our children and won't encourage the use of the 'nicknames' they gave them?" the OP (original poster) titled the thread.
'Juvenile and incomplete' birth names
My wife and I welcomed twins in November. We struggled to have children for a long time (9 years) and had our twins via IVF. It was a long battle to have our babies and when we chose their names it was something we not only took seriously but poured a lot of love into because we knew they would be the only children we would name. We chose the first names Ezra and Esme for the twins.
Their middle names are more uncommon so we won't share. But what I will say is part of what went into the choice for these names was the length. Growing up I had a long last name (10 letters) and my parents gave me very formal and lengthy first and middle names (Frederick Lawrence) and I always found my name very stuffy and old-fashioned. I go by a nn derived from my middle name now. I also took my wife's much simpler last name when we married.
So we announced the name of our twins when they were a day old and when we announced the names we were aware my parents might not be in love with them, but I stupidly believed the twins being born would be enough of a deterrent for a negative comment. About a week after they were born my parents asked what kind of names they had and how could we give them such juvenile and incomplete names. I told them they were neither of those things and they needed to be careful about how they spoke about their grandchildren's names.
Regardless, the grandparents came up with their own "nicknames" for their grandkids.
I thought they had listened but then in January, they started calling them Winifred and Douglas. At first, we weren't positive they were talking about the twins but then we were celebrating my niece's 10th birthday and my parents directly addressed my daughter as Winifred and I knew it was them they were talking to. I told them those were not their names. They said those were nicknames they had given them and everyone has a nickname, that it's not like we gave them names that could lend themselves to nicknames. I said Ezzie and Essie if they really wanted nicknames.
They ignored me and they continued to use the "nicknames". So we decided not to be around because, on top of that, they were telling my siblings that the names they had chosen were better for my children. My siblings thought they were crazy. My parents tried to see the kids a few times since and I always told them no. They asked why and I told them they do not get to see our children if all they can do is insult their names.
OP is accused of being 'unfair'
My parents accused me of trying to control them and said nicknames are a part of life. I told them what they had done wasn't giving a nickname, it was renaming my children in their own heads, and my wife and I do not want them renaming them. I also said we will not further encourage the use of the "nicknames" they gave them. My parents said if I had stuck to the family way of naming babies none of this would be happening and they said I was being unfair to them. AITA?
People were in consensus that the OP was NTA (not the a*****e) in this situation.
"NTA. What your parents are doing is bizarre. You can't just make up completely different names for people because you don't like them. It's disrespectful to you and confusing for the kids. I wouldn't want to be around them either," one responded.
"NTA. Your parents sound like narcissists. They are bullying you," another declared.
"NTA. The names you and your wife chose are lovely. Your parents are way out of line, disrespectful, and controlling, and good for you for standing up to them," a comment read.
"I would rename the parents. Esmeralda and Gomez ( just pull some names out of your arse, OP) and address them with those names in their birthday & Christmas cards from now on. Sit back and relax and don’t forget the popcorn for the s***show that’s gonna unfold," someone else quipped.
"NTA. See how your parents like it when you start referring to them by wack-ass names you make up for them," another agreed.
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.