'Father or the year': Internet hails dad who kept daughter’s secret from wife for 3 years
A man apparently fulfilled his fatherly duties and left his wife furious after keeping their daughter's secret from her for three years. The father explained that his daughter, who was 12 at the time, realized she was a lesbian three years ago when she developed feelings for another girl at school.
“She wasn’t sure exactly what she was going through, but realized she never had an interest in boys. She asked me not to tell anyone, I respected her wishes and wanted her to feel completely in control,” the father wrote in a post on ‘AITA’ subreddit. However, now, the 15-year-old daughter is in a committed relationship and feels it is her time to come out of the closet. After learning about his daughter’s decision, the user said he sat down with his wife to discuss the situation with her parents, who are a little stubborn.
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“I’d prefer if we could all act as if they fell off the face of the earth, but that’s not going to happen. She is very different from them, they don’t see eye to eye on much. However, my wife is very open and tells all. I love her honesty, and she is the best communicator I know,” the father wrote further in the post. However, he explained that the reason why his daughter kept her sexuality a secret from her mother is her habit of oversharing. “We knew by telling her, she would make a huge announcement to the family, Facebook and probably put it on a billboard (kidding),” he wrote.
'She’s not upset with our kid, but with me'
“My wife agreed not to tell her parents seeing that they would cause our daughter pain based on how they are full of hatred towards anyone that doesn’t fit in their shoebox. To my utter shock, they don’t know a thing as even my wife’s sisters know but haven’t told them either,” the user continued. Although she agreed not to tell her parents, the wife was still angry with her husband. He explained that his wife felt disrespected and that her behavior made the daughter feel bad.
“She’s not upset with our kid, but with me. She says only dysfunctional families keep secrets from each other. She feels like an outcast as if my daughter and I have a relationship that doesn’t involve her,” the husband further noted. He admitted that he felt guilty when he hid their daughter’s relationship and referred to her girlfriend as a friend in front of his wife. “Nonetheless, this is what my daughter wanted. She wanted to come out on her own terms, she wasn’t ready for everyone to know. Had I told my wife and she let it out, my daughter would have never trusted me again. I feel like I did right by my daughter, but not by my wife. AITA?” the user concluded.
“You are a great father!”
The father’s post has since garnered immense social media attention, with users praising him for supporting his daughter. “Going to say NAH. You did the right thing by your daughter- hands down. You get the father of the year seriously! Your wife has a right to feel hurt- but her anger towards you is inappropriate. You alluded to the fact that she's an excellent communicator and her parents may not be accepting,” one user said.
A user said, “NTA … you kept your child’s trust. That’s the most important reason for anything. She wasn’t in danger and she knew that you were safe, destroying that, by telling your wife would have been 100x worse. You are a great father!” Another user said, “NTA. It wasn't your secret to tell. This information wasn't injuring anyone. Yes, your partner may need to redirect anger at you for not being selected but you are not wrong here. Otherwise, you'd lose your developing bond and trust with your daughter.”
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