DON'T masturbate with the Christmas decorations! Doc delivers stark and strange warning
LONDON, ENGLAND: A gynecologist from the United Kingdom is causing a stir on social media by cautioning people against masturbating with Christmas decorations over the holiday season, which is reportedly a real practice.
Gynecologist Dr Sarah Welsh told NeedToKnow.Online that "It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments." She was outlining the dos and don'ts of the controversial Yuletide custom, which involves people becoming naughty with everything from candy canes to glass ornaments, resulting in hospitalizations. It appears dangerous to one's health to use ornaments to attempt and bring Christmas early.
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Welsh, who co-founded the condom company Hanx, cautioned: "Christmas ornaments can have sharp aspects or pieces that can break during masturbation, which can cause soreness, the risk of trauma, and are just generally unsuitable for your vagina," as cited by New York Post.
The doctor cautioned holiday pleasure seekers that even Christmas sweets pose a risk because of "hygiene issues, concern about pieces breaking off, or the sugar content of things such as candy canes."
The delicate environment of the vaginal microbiota is disrupted by anything containing sugar, such as Christmas candy, and this puts you at risk for developing vaginal thrush infections. It may seem obvious to refrain from indulging oneself with these so-called sex-mas devices, but this sad trend is more frequent than one might imagine; a 2013 case study mentions people sticking glass ornaments and even "turkey basters" inside themselves.
In the meanwhile, a social media post in a paramedic Facebook group detailed cases of festive hornballs improvising with a candy cane and a tree ornament, along with images showing the gruesome X-rays from each. “These X-rays show a candy cane and a Christmas tree ball ornament stuck in rectums,” says the caption. “Ya know, for the holidays.”
13,213 instances of people between the ages of 25 and 64 inserting "decorating items" in their body were recorded in 2021 alone, according to data from the UK's National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, according to Jam Press. Strangely enough, experts blamed "autoeroticism," which Merriam-Webster defines as "sexual gratification obtained solely through stimulation by oneself of one’s own body,” for the employment of these joyful foreign objects.
Other objects have also been discovered in strange orifices, not just Christmas ornaments. In an odd attempt at sexual fulfillment known in the medical field as "sounding," a randy Michigander last fall got six kidney beans stuck in his urethra. A deodorant canister was purportedly shoved up a 27-year-old guy's butt in India in September, where it apparently stayed for three weeks before being removed by medical professionals. The man had to be hospitalized as a result. "There are many suitable, and certified, sex toys on the market available that will do a much better job," Welsh says when summing up her views about the practice.
Welsh is a skilled medical professional with knowledge of gynecology and sexual health. She oversaw the teaching of sex and relationships in UK schools as well as served as an honorary clinical lecturer at Imperial College.