Who is Erik Menéndez's wife? Convicted killer found love in his long-time pen pal
Warning: This article contains a recollection of crime and can be triggering to some, readers’ discretion is advised
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA: Erik Menendez has spent most of his life in prison yet he has managed to maintain a solid marriage—a rare luxury for someone who’s been behind bars for over 35 years. He has been married to Tammi Ruth Saccoman since 1999 and their one-of-its-kind relationship continues to be a talking point.
The case of Lyle and Eric Menendez, who killed their rich parents in 1989, has inspired Netflix's latest true crime series 'Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story'. American actor Cooper Koch appears as Erik Menéndez. As the series finally premieres, here's everything you need to know about the convicted killer's love story and eventual marriage in prison.
How did Eric Menendez and Tammi Ruth Saccoman meet?
The beginning of Eric Menendez and Tammi Ruth Saccoman's love story is as unusual as their relationship. They first met in August 1997 after years of correspondence. It's important to note that Eric and his brother Lyle, were arrested for the murder of their parents in 1990 and they were convicted in 1996.
"She sent me a letter during my first trial. It’s funny, I have a visual memory of seeing her letter. I believe in soul mates. I believe in spirituality, in a religious sense. I believe in God and that nothing happens by chance. I saw Tammi’s letter and I felt something. I received thousands of letters, but I set this one aside. I got a feeling. And I wrote her back. Tammi and I continued to correspond. I enjoyed writing to her. It was a slow friendship. It was special to me because it was not associated with the trial and the media. Tammi was someone not in the craziness," Eric described how they built a relationship over letters, quoted People in the 2005 interview conducted at a state prison.
He revealed that they lost touch for a while after he was convicted while her second husband had died by suicide. "Finally, I got a letter from Tammi about her husband’s suicide, about her tragedy. In some ways, it allowed her to understand my pain. From that moment, we grew closer,” he was further quoted by People.
In an interview with CNN, Tammi said that she had two children from two husbands and also acknowledged that her second husband "had been sexually abusing" her older daughter, Lisa.
Over time, they switched to phone calls before finally meeting in August 1997. It was love at first sight for them. Tammi and her daughters eventually moved to California as Erik promised her deep unconditional love and support.
Eric Menendez had a prison wedding in 1999
On June 12, 1999, Erik and Tammi got married at Folsom State Prison in a prison waiting room. "Our wedding cake was a Twinkie," Tammi was quoted by Rolling Stone.
Despite being married for 25 years, the couple hasn't received the chance to have a physical relationship. They are just allowed to kiss hello and goodbye during their visits. "I was comforted by the fact that she’d already been in a marriage and had children,” Eric mentioned during the interview with People.
Reflecting upon the lack of sex life, Eric said, "There is no makeup sex, only a 15-minute phone call, so you really have to try to make things work. There is such a longing to share. It’s not sex, not the physical act you yearn for. It’s the communion, just to be able to lay with someone in naked silence. It’s hard not being able to do that. It’s not the sex you seek, but the emotional connection."
Eric misses the random things that a married couple does together. "It wasn’t just sex I couldn’t provide. I couldn’t take out the trash, help her around the house, or pick her up from work. That is what is so, so difficult about this. You don’t know how much I would like to go to a parent/teacher’s conference or to take care of Tammi and Talia if they are sick," he was quoted by People.
Tammi Menendez wrote a book about her married life
In 2005, Tammi self-published a book titled 'They Said We'd Never Make It – My Life with Erik Menéndez'. In the book, she wrote about the painful life endured by her husband, Erik, and discussed the ordeals of the trial. She also mentioned their struggle to preserve their marriage.
Tammi acknowledged that Erik helped edit the book. It is currently available for purchase on Amazon. The book inspired A&E to release a documentary about Tammi titled 'Mrs. Menéndez' in 2010.
How to stream 'Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story'?
Several documentaries have been made on Lyle and Erik's case over the years. The latest addition to the list is Netflix's true crime anthology series titled 'Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story' which revisits the 1989 crime.
The nine-episodic series premiered on Netflix on Thursday, September 19. Membership to Netflix comes at a minimum price of $6.99/month.
'Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story' trailer