'Zero sympathy for this man': Internet supports mother's decision to tell daughter truth about her father
The internet rallied behind a mother's decision to tell her 16-year-old daughter the unpleasant truth about her father and let her decide whether she wanted a relationship with him. The scenario was discussed by Original Poster, (OP), u/Any_Care4207 on Reddit's popular forum, "Am I The A**hole". The post garnered more than 10k upvotes and 200 comments from fellow Redditors.
In the Reddit post titled, "AITA for telling my daughter the truth about her father?" the OP writes, "I got pregnant in college when I was 19. Her father was in the same position. Prior to doing the deed, I told him if anything were to happen I would not be getting an abortion. He said he understood. When I got pregnant, he refused any contact with my baby or responsibility. He took things further by telling my friends and his family that I planned the pregnancy to trap him, so they wouldn’t judge his actions. This was untrue. He paid mandatory child support but it wasn’t much."
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'He wants the kid I raised'
She further details, "He reached out to me on Facebook saying he wants to be in his daughters life. He’s married now. I did some stalking online, his wife has frequently posted about her infertility struggle. I was against it because he’s had no part of her life. It was me who had to drop out of college, work 2 jobs, endure the sleepless nights as a baby and raise her. It was me that kept her belly full and kept her warm. He didn’t give a sh*t. It was me that endured my friends turning against me and his family’s harassment. And now that he wouldn’t be sacrificing his young years, now he’s finished partying, now he’s got his degree and job, and his wife can’t give him kids to complete his picket fence life, for him?"
The woman claims that the father did not have a college fund for his daughter or car money, which proved that "he only gave a sh*t when he couldn’t make more kids." She spoke to her daughter and told her the truth about what kind of man her father was. "I told her he has nothing for her, and I was honest about the fact his wife is infertile so he is reaching out. I told her everything and reiterated basically everything I said in the post. I told her to think about it, I said I’d support her knowing him, but I affirmed he is not a nice person and his intentions are not where we would want. She chose to not know him."
"After I informed him he got mad. He said I ruined his chance to know her, that I’m denying her a father, I told him he was the one that did that. My mother told me I shouldn’t have poisoned his image to her, that she probably feels rejected all over again and she’s probably hurting. I now feel like I have done wrong by her. AITA?"
'I wouldn't trust him'
Redditors unanimously declared the woman was NTA (Not The A**hole). One user wrote, "NTA you are protecting your daughter from a potentially traumatizing and harmful situation. It is one thing for him to give up parental rights and for it to remain that way, but what he is doing is treating her like she is some sort of trend of the month. What is going to happen when he realizes she is a complex, multilayered human with a lot of thoughts and feelings and likely a lot of negative feelings towards him? I wouldn't trust him with properly taking care of an animal, let alone a child."
Another user recommended, "NTA, but lawyer up and make sure your custody and support agreements are ironclad."
A third wrote, "NTA. You have zero obligation to lie and tell a softer version of your own life events to paint this dead beat in a more positive light. Zero sympathy for this man or his wife. What kind of woman marries a man who would abandon his child and then encourage him to gain access to said abandoned child because she could have kids of her own? A monster. Why would you do ANYthing to encourage your daughter have a relationship with said monsters who literally only have selfish reasons for JUST NOW wanting to know her. This dude and his wife are disgusting."
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.