'She's alive in my dreams': Mom of Grace Handling, 13, who died after taking ecstasy pens song in her memory
![Lorraine Handling's tribute to daughter Grace will be available from October 14 (Facebook Lorraine Heather Handling Music/BBC)](http://d2a0gza273xfgz.cloudfront.net/586781/uploads/39d15eb0-43a9-11ed-a360-615c45f3578b_1200_630.png)
IRVINE, SCOTLAND: The mother of Grace Handling has released a song in memory of her deceased teenage daughter. Lorraine Heather Handling, 49, was left devastated when 13-year-old Grace, died after taking ecstasy pill in 2018. Callum Owens, 21, admitted giving Grace the ecstasy pill which took the life of the youngster. However, he was cleared of the charges, which devastated her family.
The album, 'The Tide's Gonna Turn', features the track 'Alive In My Dreams', which is about Grace. Lorraine said, "Our family was devastated when we lost Grace. The pain was excruciating and I have not been able to find any words to express it," adding, "When I do try to talk about it I regret it because I come away feeling cheated that I couldn't communicate how much she meant to me. I failed to communicate the depth of what she meant to me and the depth of how horrendous it all was."
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Lorraine is a music teacher. Although she sings frequently at the church and is part of a band which plays at weddings and other functions, she was hesistant to do so on her own. However, a health scare with her daughter Dani also triggered the much needed motivation, after the 13-year-old was diagnosed with a chronic illness. Lorraine said, "It was a completely different thing singing my own songs and also socializing. The court case had just taken such an enormous toll on me that I lost all my confidence and lost faith in humanity for a while and was suffering trauma and grief at that time. I was really struggling."
She said, "My friend who actually specializes in encouraging people to emerge as artists actually got me involved in his events, and private functions, and that slowly helped me rebuild my confidence in my singer-songwriter performances through charity events, and private functions, where I felt safe and supported," adding, "It was the start of a slow process for me but I feel I am back on my feet. People tell me how my songs seem to connect with them and I credit my Christian faith for that and I want people to be able to access the songs. I want any good that can possibly be found to be brought out of this tragedy."
Lorraine further said, "I have always felt I can help others through my music and now more than ever. Through the process of the recovery I wrote a few songs and had started doing them in public. When I wrote ‘The Tide’s Gonna Turn’ at the end of August last year, I felt it was a very significant turning point for me personally and for my daughter Dani."
She added, "A couple of months after that, out of the blue I realized that I definitely wanted to record an album. It was something I had to do. I was so aware that none of us know how long we have. For those who know me, it's very long awaited." The album is available on Spotify, Apple Music and Amazon Music from October 14.