Man throws out in-laws from his home for insulting his single mom while wife downplays entire episode
It’s a common occurrence for members of a family to be rude to each other, and a Reddit user posted one such incident on the 'AITA' platform, with users throwing in their two cents. The user, a family man, had posted that his wife had planned dinner with the pair’s parents and their son, an idea that the poster was not onboard with because of simmering tensions between both parties. “The night started badly when my wife asked my mom about her boyfriend and her dad started asking her questions about him. 'Why didn't she invite him? What's his job?'” the poster said.
He added, “But then getting more invasive and essentially implying single moms shouldn't date and making a suggestive remark about her kids having different dads. I was already irate at this point, but my wife was able to deflect the conversation. Over the course of the night, they continued to make negative remarks that were directed at my mom.” The poster said that the harsh treatment had taken a toll on his mother, who has a history of anxiety and mental health issues. His mother retreated into an empty room and never came out.
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'I was already very angry’
Speaking about their varied backgrounds, the man wrote, "My in-laws are wealthy whereas my mom has always been poor and myself and my brother help support her now. At 51 my mom is also young compared to them (70+)."
He said that his in-laws continued to show their disdain for his mother on the forum. He wrote, "Over the course of the night, they continued to make negative remarks that were directed at my mom. Even when my MIL was congratulating my sister about getting into law school, she used it to backhand my mom by saying how impressive it was considering where she came from. MIL also kept trying to police how my mom interacted with my son. A couple of times she told my son off for how he was playing with my mom despite the fact I was right there if he needed disciplining."
His mother going to the spare room was the final straw. The man then took matters into his own hands and said, “I decided to politely ask my in-laws to leave and explained to them that I wouldn't tolerate them speaking to my mom the way they had that night. My wife & FIL tried to talk to me about it, but I told them I didn't want to discuss it right now, I just wanted them to leave.”
After his in-laws had left, the man had started to fight with his wife about her parents’ behaviour towards his. He said that his wife had downplayed her parents’ actions and that she made it seem as though he was reading too much between the lines. “She now thinks I'm treating her family badly when it was her parents that wouldn't stop disparaging my mom, and I know she noticed because she kept trying to intervene,” he said.
Redditors declare the verdict
Users on the platform took to their keyboards to support the man, saying, “If your wife didn't think her parents were doing anything wrong, why was she changing the subject or direction of the conversation when they were insulting your mother?” Another had said, “The big thing for me is expecting him to ask permission before kicking them out. If any permanent resident in a home isn't comfortable with a guest anymore, they can immediately ask them to leave. It's a "one no is enough, 2 isn't needed" situation. You don't get to tell someone to suck it up and be uncomfortable in their home. Nope.”
A third user said, “You did the right thing talking to your mom (your side of the family), it is up to her to do the same with her parents indeed. She didn’t. You did what you could, which is politely end the evening so you don’t have that talk with them in anger when your wife should’ve handled it herself.”
Another user also took the husband’s side, saying, “It's not disrespectful to her family to address their hurtful behavior towards your own family member. Your wife should have taken your concerns seriously and been more understanding of your feelings. It's important for partners to have each other's backs in situations like this.”
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