'Get her some therapy': Internet sides with man who snapped at wife's vile remarks about newborn daughter
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: A man has shared his story on Reddit’s subsection r/AmItheAsshole, where he confessed his guilt for getting really angry at his wife. In the title, the unidentified man using u/Pizza-lover-13 as his username, wrote, “AITA for going off on my wife for commenting about our 3-week-old daughter’s looks?”
The person elaborated, “My daughter, our second child, is three weeks old. Pre-pregnancy, my wife was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression, and in the days since birthing our baby girl, is most definitely experiencing post-partum depression. Our first child, our son, looks very much so like her. In fact, if you look at baby photos of my wife, they look almost exactly like our son’s baby photos. And my wife is a looker, so my son is damn cute thank you very much.”
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‘Oooh it’s really tough being a girl’
u/Pizza-lover-13 said, “Our daughter got a bit more of my side’s gene pool. Her hairline kinda has a widow’s peak (which I’ve had since I was a baby). Her lips are relatively thin (like me). Her nose is a little larger than our sons was (I have a Middle Eastern classic hook nose). Nearly every day in my daughter’s 21 days on this earth, my wife has made a comment to baby girl about how she’s so sad she got daddy’s features.”
He then went on to list the remarks his wife made about their daughter, like “Don’t worry, I’ll get you a nose job as soon as you’re old enough,” “I wish you had gotten more of my features. My family is beautiful and all the women are timeless. Your dad’s family, not so much,” and “[Son] has the beautiful pouty lips and you got stuck with those pencil lips - oooh it’s really tough being a girl.”
‘Stop projecting onto her’
The man stated that he maintained his cool, but recently he lost it and yelled at his wife which came with cursing as well. He posted, “The gist of my statements were: I don’t care if she can’t yet understand what you’re saying, stop putting that shit out into the universe. [son] can understand you, so stop this garbage.
“Yea life on girls is tough in this world, especially when their mom is shitting all over their appearance. she’s fucking three weeks old and is still perfect and noble and hasn’t hurt a goddamn soul. Stop projecting onto her. you regularly tell me how your mom fucked up your psyche with all her comments about your appearance so why the fuck are you doing the same to baby girl?”
Concluding his online share, u/Pizza-lover-13 added, “Anyways she was understandably hurt by my comments and we haven’t really talked about it or debriefed since. I recognize that part of her comments stem from her anxiety/depression as well as her post-partum depression, and I also recognize there a lot of this stems from her mom’s influence on her psyche. I also recognize that yelling and berating people is rarely the right thing. So AITA here?”
‘Get your wife some therapy’
People in the comment section understood the new father’s concern as one of them wrote, “NTA Who promises a three week old plastic surgery because they take after their father? She needs to talk to a professional. NTA and congratulations for your baby.” Another user commented, “i get she may have PPD but she doesn't have to verbalize her thoughts and keep them to herself. I suggest she/you both get some counseling. It sounds like she needs to do some healing based on her childhood. It may not be the best time to do this while suffering from PPD but if nothing else, she needs to stop saying these things out loud. NTA and congrats on the birth of your beautiful daughter.”
The third user suggested, “Exactly. Get your wife some therapy before she ruins that little girl's life.” The fourth one added, “She's literally talking about plastic surgery to her daughter. That is vile. Nip that shit in the bud before she's old enough to understand and develop an inferiority complex. And if your wife finds your features so unattractive, why did she marry you? NTA and your wife is effed up.”
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