Internet slams mom who left daughter out of $2M will after she made a 'mistake'
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA: One cannot deny that making financial decisions in the face of death can be a nerve-wracking task, and things only get worse when those decisions are at direct odds with the rest of the family. Every family has their own traditions and philosophies about money management and financial support, and who people "should" leave their money with can often be a complicated question.
Considering these factors, it is safe to say that inheritance is a rather delicate subject. In case we're sharing here, a woman turned to the Internet for advice – wondering if she's wrong for not leaving any money for her daughter and giving it to charity instead.
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Taking to the popular Reddit forum 'Am I The A** hole' (AITA), the OP shared a thread titled, "AITA for wanting to leave my money to charity and not my daughter?" and explained the situation writing:
I (58F) have stage 4 cancer, about a year left. I'm going to be leaving behind about $2M and have decided to take one last vacation and give the rest to charity. My husband (Bill 66M) is in good health, but he will be set financially and we have decided together that he doesn't need the money. I do have a daughter (Amity 29F) and a son (Caleb 24M). She has 3 kids (14 and 1yo twins) and Bill thinks I should leave her half of the money. He says she could use it and that would still amount to a million for charity. However, I don't really want to give the money to my daughter.
The OP then gave her reasons why she didn't want to give any money to her daughter and wrote:
She had her son at 15 and because she was in high school Bill and I ended up raising him until he was 7. We also paid for Amity's college. My reasoning is that we have already given her childcare for seven years and college. So she already received the payout from us even though I was alive and well at the time. Though it seems Bill already told Amity we'd help her out and she was getting half the inheritance. I had to correct her and tell her I'm not giving her or her brother any money. This has been blowing up the family. Amity was furious because she says she's in a bad financial place and she can't believe I'm not helping her even though I could.
She then offered some more context and asked the Internet for advice and wrote:
Bill understands where I'm coming from but says Amity is living in a trailer and I could at least help her out. I already did help her, but AITA if I don't include her in the will? Edit to clarify: Bill is going to leave everything to the children/grandchildren when he passes. Caleb hasn't done anything, but they will both be getting money regardless.
Fellow Redditors fumed at the OP despite her condition, branding her an a**hole for punishing her embattled daughter. "YTA - I'm voting this way because I think you really resent your daughter for getting pregnant at 15. She made a mistake. She didn't rob a bank," one wrote. "Also I'm guessing that you didn't ask yourself any hard questions why a 15-year-old girl got pregnant throwing her life away at that age. Chances and BIG chances are that you and your husband had a role in that mistake," another added.
"YTA. When a kid has a kid at 15, it's not the kid's fault, or at least not mostly. It's a parenting failure to not provide birth control (preferably long-term), guidance, and some coaching on how to handle pressure in a relationship," someone else wrote. "At the VERY least, it was YOUR choice to keep and raise the kid rather than abort, adopt, place with family, place with the FATHER'S family, etc. So you screwed her over when she was a teen, but at least you did pay for college and stepped up to raise him. And why are you not, at the very least, putting it in trust funds for the grandkids? Even if you don't care about what happens to Amity, what about your grandbabies? Are they supposed to pay for her not making you happy?" they added.
"YTA. I get it’s your money and whatever, but I can’t imagine bypassing my own children when I have a mass of wealth I’ll be losing after I’m dead. Also, you resent your underaged child for getting pregnant. That was your failing as a parent. She was a kid," another insisted.
This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.