Lil Wayne didn't ‘feel a thing’ when he shot himself in suicide attempt at age 12
Wayne has time and again addressed his suicide attempt in various songs but never really revealed what went inside his head when he pulled the trigger
Hip-hop icon Lil Wayne, who first revealed about his suicide attempt at the age of 12 in 2018, shared fresh insights about that moment in a new interview that surfaced on the Internet over the weekend. In the latest, the rap heavyweight spilled the beans on how he realised he had mental health issues when he shot himself as a kid.
The 38-year-old rapper has time and again addressed his suicide attempt in various songs but never really revealed what went inside his head when he pulled the trigger. Talking about it in an interview with Emmanuel Acho for his ‘Uncomfortable Conversations’ series, Wayne confessed that he did not feel a thing when he aimed the gun at his heart, adding that he did not go through any pain and it was just shock. The Grammy-winning artist also revealed that he then woke up to the police knocking as he was staring at his white walls.
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Why did Lil Wayne attempt suicide at 12?
Lil Wayne revealed that he decided to end his life after his mother said he couldn't rap anymore. The rapper shared that the incident took place on a half day from school. After almost getting in trouble with his mother due to lying about going to school when in real he was hitting the streets, he later called the cops before heading for the gun. “I picked up the phone, I called the police. Yes I knew where she put her gun and it was in her bedroom. And so I went in her bedroom, grabbed the gun. I already made the phone call, looked in the mirror,” he said, adding that he “got a little too scared” after he pointed the gun to his head.
How Lil Wayne got to know about his mental health issues?
Lil Wayne revealed that he first realized about his mental health when he was 10 years old. He stated, “As a kid, around 10, when I was told I couldn't have what I wanted, what I dreamed of and what I desired, and that was to rap. I was willing to die for it."
The ‘A Milli’ hitmaker then shed light on the exact moment when he was pointing the gun at his chest. “Then I said ‘Fuck it. Biggie was on. I’m looking in the mirror, so you could look through the mirror and the television was behind me. So I was watching the video through the mirror. ‘One More Chance’ was on.”
He continued, “And Biggie was already gone or something. So I was looking, I was like, ‘You know what?’ Start thinking I had to get myself mad and noticed that I didn’t have to. That’s what scared me. How I knew I had a mental health problem was when I pulled the trigger.”
The multi-platinum rapper asserted that he had aimed for his heart but “didn’t feel a thing.” Lil Wayne further revealed how a cop saved his life, saying that one of the officers who kicked the door down -- whom he addressed as Uncle Bob -- refused to step over him, picked him up and went with other officers to transport him to the hospital. Wayne also said that he believed it was God that kept him alive that day.
For the uninitiated, Lil Wayne spoke about his suicide attempt on the song ‘London Roads’ rapping, “I remember going in your gun drawer, putting it to my chest and missing my heart by centimeters/ Oh Lord”.
He also addressed it on Solange’s song ‘Mad’ where he rapped, “That didn't wear cap and gown, Are you mad 'cause the judge ain't give me more time?/ And when I attempted suicide, I didn't die/ I remember how mad I was on that day.” On the song ‘Let It All Work Out’, Wayne rapped, “I found my momma’s pistol where she always hide it/I cry, put it to my head and thought about it/Nobody was home to stop me, so I called my auntie/Hung up, then put the gun up to my heart and pondered.”