Internet suggests woman leave boyfriend over BIZARRE sleeping arrangement with his ex
Is it appropriate to sleep in the same bed as your ex? This is the conundrum faced by Original Poster(OP), u/kelkem in Reddit's popular forum, "Am I The A**hole". The post has been gathering popularity since being posted and has received comments from a number of fellow Redditors.
In the Reddit post titled, "AITA For confronting the guy I’m dating sharing a bed with his ex that he is friends with?", the OP, 35 writes that she had been exclusively dating a guy, 35 since the beginning of December 2022. They hadn't had the 'talk' yet about the nature of their relationship but they have been "exclusively seeing each other."
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'Put yourself in my shoes'
She details in the post, "He is CURRENTLY on vacation with his ex/friend from about 5-6 years ago. They’ve maintained a friendship over the years and planned this trip right before he and I met. He was honest with me about the trip as things progressed in our relationship. I didn’t feel super great about the idea of this trip in the first place but it was planned before we met, he was honest about it, so I let it go."
She further writes, "Today is their first day in Europe. Maybe I’m stupid for not asking beforehand but I got a “room tour” that conveniently left out the sleeping situation. Which I then flat out asked what the sleeping arrangements were and got the following responses: “It was cheaper to get a single king or queen bed than to get a room with two double beds. So we just napped at a respectful distance.“ "Or, a lot of places didn't even offer double beds. They'd have twin beds, and I'm not about to sleep in a twin bed on vacation. lol” For context he’s 5’9” like I am and size wouldn’t be an issue fitting in a twin bed."
Unsurprisingly, the OP was not happy with this arrangement. "I eventually responded with: “So I'm not going to get into this with you but put yourself in my shoes with what you sent me above. Enjoy your evening. I'll talk to you later.” I get saving money, trust me. But I would have preferred being in the know beforehand. I don’t want to put a damper on his vacation but I don’t think my feelings were considered here at all. It’s not that he gave me any reason to not trust him in the past, but this feels like a massive issue to me. I have mad anxiety (it’s treated with Prozac) but I can’t let this sit for a week or I’ll drive myself crazy. Would I be the asshole confronting him about this in the next few days while he’s there?"
'Why are you wasting your time with a guy like this?'
The comment section was filled with Redditors calling the OP NTA (Not The A**hole), and suggesting that she break up with her boyfriend. One user wrote, "NTA WTF? Why are you wasting your time with a guy like this? You both are too old to be doing this. He claims she's "just his ex and they are friends" but come on! They aren't "just friends". They are sharing an intimate trip with each other and sleeping in the same bed. I'm positive he is cheating on you. Dump him with no questions asked."
Another user reflected the sentiment, "NTA. Any person who actually wanted to move on from their ex and move forward with a new relationship, would not go on a vacation with said ex and sleep in the same bed with them. Apart from the trip itself crossing boundaries, hotels have couches. Not to mention the fact that he tried to not tell you that they were sleeping in the same bed, so he’s already trying to hide things from you. Run. Don’t let this guy waste more of your time."
A third user wrote, "NTA but let's be real here If it walks like a duck, acts like a duck (takes trips and shares a bed with other ducks).... you already know what's up. He didn't tell you the sleeping arrangements upfront on his own because he knew damned good and well how you'd feel about it. They didn't have a trip planned for that long and just change to a single bed at check-in 'since they were cheaper'. That's not how hotel reservations work."
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