‘I hated the way I looked’: Pamela Anderson opens up about how she felt while posing for Playboy

Pamela Anderson talked about how she felt when she initially started her career with the Playboy magazine

UPDATED MAR 5, 2023

Pamela Anderson's new Netflix documentary 'Pamela, a love story' explores star's life and career through the years (Getty Images/Handout)

VANCOUVER, CANADA: Pamela Anderson felt shy and debilitated while shooting for Playboy magazine for the first time. Well, this may be a bit surprising for some of her fans, but the sex symbol of the 90s said she lacked confidence back then. “The shyness was something that was so debilitating. When I was little, I would wear a hat over my head and pull the hole closed so I could only see out this much," she said.

The ‘Barb Wire’ star added, “I hated the way I looked, I hated everything. I was so shy and I always thought everybody was pretty and I just didn’t have that confidence or self-confidence.” Spilling beans on her entire first project for Playboy magazine, the 55-year-old said, “Then I was in Vancouver and Playboy approached me a few times and I said no. Finally, I was in a situation and thought ‘Why not? Let me try this.’ Then I got to L.A. and I was horrified.”

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Anderson, in an interview with ET Canada, said, “Then I did my first photo shoot with Playboy… it was the first flash when I opened my eyes and it felt like I was falling off a cliff. It really felt like I was just… allowing, instead of trying to control. And it was my first feeling of freedom.” Also learning from her bad sexual experiences at a younger age, she wanted to make sure she goes forward on her own terms.

'Well, you manifest, you are your thoughts'

Anderson recently released a new Netflix documentary, 'Pamela, a love story', and her book,'Love, Pamela', on January 31. When she was asked what would be her biggest curse and blessing, she remarked, “Well, you manifest, you are your thoughts. I really strongly believe that. I’ve had things in my life that were painful, where I’ve wished something, especially when I was little.”

The 'Blonde and Blonder' star further said, “I had a difficult situation when I was young… I had a babysitter that was not a good person and did horrible things to me. I wished that she’d die, and she did. So I thought I killed her with my magical mind. So, I was always very careful of my thoughts. I couldn’t tell my parents then for sure, I thought I’d murdered somebody with my mind.”