Who is Frances McDormand's husband Joel Coen? How a bold 'No' for audition callback became a 37-year marriage

From seduced by literature to adopting a son, couple Frances McDormand and Joel Coen have a strong relationship

PUBLISHED FEB 16, 2021

Joel Coen and Frances McDormand got married in 1984 (Getty Images)

Frances McDormand is known for her unconventional roles in Hollywood. Be it the grieving mother of a murdered teen fighting for justice in 'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri' or the marred by recession jaded elderly woman seeking a new life as a nomad in 'Nomadland', she hasn't shied away from roles that would leave many rattled.

If you ask McDormand, it's her husband Joel Coen who pushes her to take on these adventures. Something tells us that her unconventionally bold 'no' to an audition callback was the reason they hit it off so well when they met in 1983. The rest, as they say, is a blissful history of a marriage that's spanned three decades and counting.

RELATED ARTICLES

'Nomadland' Full Cast List: Meet Frances McDormand, David Strathairn, Bob Wells and rest of the actors from the nomads in the Western indie film

'Nomadland': Release date, plot, cast, trailer and all you need to know about the Hulu drama starring Frances McDormand

Who is Joel Coen?

After McDormand won the Best Actress Oscar for her leading role of Mildred in 'Three Billboards...', she had once shared how she took up the role only after much push from her husband Joel Coen. She was hesitant as she felt too old for the character. "Finally my husband said, 'Just shut up and do it,'" McDormand shared in a September 2018 film panel.

Frances McDormand wins Best Actress for 'Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri' with director Joel Coen during the 90th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center on March 4, 2018, in Hollywood, California (Getty Images)

For those wondering why the name Coen sounds so familiar, McDormand's husband is one part of the cinematic duo the Coen brothers, who've delivered some stellar hits one after the other in their illustrious genre-spanning career since the 80s. The director, producer, screenwriter and editor duo is made up of the older Coen brother Joel, who's married to McDormand, and his younger brother Ethan Coen, who's been married to actor Trishia Cooke since the 90s.

Together the Coen brothers have been nominated for 13 Academy Awards, out of which they have won four — Best Original Screenplay for Fargo; and Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay for 'No Country for Old Men'.

Said 'No' after the very first meeting

McDormand is no stranger to the Coen brothers' universe, having starred in several of their films like 'Blood Simple', 'Raising Arizona', 'Miller's Crossing', 'Barton Fink', 'Fargo', 'The Man Who Wasn't There', 'Burn After Reading', and 'Hail, Caesar!' Incidentally enough, their relationship had started the same way too, meeting all the way in the 80s when McDormand had gone to audition for the role of Abby from 'Blood Simple'.

When they asked her to come to a callback audition, McDormand declined saying she had promised to watch her boyfriend's debut in a soap opera.

Frances McDormand and her husband director Joel Coen arrive for the 73rd Annual Academy Awards on March 25, 2001, at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles (Getty Images)

McDormand has quipped in interviews that they chose her because she said no, and her husband, Coen, has also confirmed to the New York Times that "We really liked that. It was so guileless — just what we wanted for Abby."

Seduced with literature

For McDormand, however, it was Coen who 'seduced (her) with literature'. She had taken Coen's reading recommendation after she moved to Austin with just one book. So Coen did what any normal guy would and brought her a box full of James M Cain and Raymond Chandler books.

Frances McDormand and her husband director Joel Coen attend the premiere of 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' on December 19, 2000, at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City (Getty Images)

"I said, 'Which one should I start with?' And he said, 'The Postman Always Rings Twice,'" she told The Daily Beast. "A couple of nights later, I said, 'Would you like to come over and discuss the book?' That did it. He seduced me with literature. And then we discussed books and drank hot chocolate for several evenings."

A very unconventional wedding band

When McDormand married Coen in 1984, the wedding band she sported was not something many would be okay wearing. It had originally belonged to Coen's ex-wife whom he had divorced in the 70s. The New York Times Magazine reported that McDormand wore it simply because she found it practical that the ring shouldn't go to waste after all.

Frances McDormand, Pedro McDormand Coen and Joel Coen walk the red carpet during the 10th Rome Film Fest at Auditorium Parco Della Musica on October 16, 2015, in Rome, Italy (Getty Images)

Just a decade later, in 1985, the couple adopted a son from Paraguay. Named Pedro McDormand Coen, their son works as a personal trainer.

McDormand and Coen continue to keep their flame alive both for the screen and at home. "It was a revelation that I could have a lover who I could also work with and I wasn't intimidated by the person," McDormand had once told The New York Times Magazine. "It was: Wow! Really! Oh, my God! I can actually love and live — not subvert anything, not apologize for anything, not hide anything."

At the Rome Film Festival in 2015, the couple spilled what their mantra to the strong marriage they share is. "I think it's having different stories to tell each other," McDormand said. "Although we have often collaborated on films, we have both had really autonomous careers and so we have always had new things to tell each other."