Comedian Adam Kay reveals he was raped in sauna, and attacker 'THANKED HIM' after assault
42-year-old Adam Kay had gone to a sauna in New Zealand in order to 'get some incognito action' while he was married to his wife
WARNING: This article contains details of incidents of sexual assault that some readers may find traumatic. Discretion is advised
OXFORDSHIRE, OXFORD: Comedian Adam Kay recently revealed a horrifying incident where he was sexually assaulted in a New Zealand sauna in a new book that showcases his journey and carrer. The 42-year-old was working as a doctor while doing comedy part-time when the incident happened.
The British comedian had got a chance to perform a 20-minute while he was attending a medical conference in New Zealand, where he also planned to cheat on his wife with a man. In his book 'This is going to hurt', Adam wrote, "A sauna probably sounded like the most attractive/least horrific option and the best chance of getting what I wanted, instantly and incognito.”
Kay describes the incident in harrowing detail in his book. He said, “A man in his 40s got up, took my arm and without a word led me to a dimly lit booth where he raped me and then said, 'Thank you.'”
Kay had given a fake name to go to the sauna. He wrote, “I wanted to travel all the way to New Zealand to do it, so there was no way she could find out or get hurt; it was even considerate. It would be just this once. I didn’t want anyone in particular, I didn’t know who I was going to cheat with, just that it had to happen."
After searching on the internet, he went to a sauna and since he had never done something like this before, he had no idea what to expect. The comedian, according to WST Post, later tried to work out if "there might have been a misunderstanding, something he did wrong” when the assault happened. He blamed it on his own lack of communication, according to the book.
Kay said, “But I can’t – the truth is inescapable. I was clear I said no when it became clear he wanted this interaction to go much further than I did. I said no again when he started. I said no as he overpowered me and pressed my head into a wipe clean pillow that reeked of antiseptic." As he tried to scream, he knew he wouldn’t be heard. "Not by this man, who didn’t want to hear it, and no one else, thanks to the rhythmic pounding of the music,” he said.
"Not pulling my hand away when he took my arm – was that a way of saying yes in a language I had never been taught and denying anything I would say afterwards?” Kay said. He added that going to the police was not an option, since he thought the police would tell him, “You can’t be raped if you’re going somewhere specifically looking for sex.”
He said, "If you say it out loud, it becomes true; I would never be able to deny it or pretend it never happened, which already felt like my only way to get through it.” For a long period of time, he never told anyone what he had gone through, writing, “Maybe I was too ashamed, or maybe I just knew from the moment it happened that I would never forget it: every minute, every second, engraved on me in indelible ink, would be with me forever.”
As per the Times, Kay later divorced his wife and married James Farrell, who is currently working as executive producer on HBO's 'House of the Dragon'.