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‘Bachelorette’ star Hannah Brown says winning ‘DWTS’ wasn’t everything she imagined: ‘When I went to...’

After ‘DWTS’, Hannah Brown is kicking off summer with a new romance novel — and gig on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’

'Bachelorette' alum Hannah Brown won season 28 of 'Dancing With the Stars' along with her pro dancer partner Alan Bersten in 2019. "Winning DWTS became a dream that I never thought I would have," she wrote in an emotional, lengthy post on Instagram back then. However, she had dedicated the win to Bersten and praised the ballroom expert for his talent. "For Alan, this is something he has dedicated his life to, and it was really special to be hugging his neck while this dream came true," she confessed. Looks like the reality star didn't fully enjoy conquering the coveted Mirrorball trophy. In a recent appearance on the episode of 'The Jamie Kern Lima Show', Brown revealed that she strangely felt stuck and lonely after the win. 

"Everybody loved me and everybody thought I was killing it, and I was showing up week after week on live television and getting through these performances, but I just felt like I had to win to prove that everything that I had done had been worth it," the DWTS champion reflected. "When I went to hold up that Mirrorball. It was way lighter than I thought it was going to be. I remember going back home after the whole show because it was like during the holidays, and I went home for Thanksgiving, and I wrote in my journal, 'I'm just having the weirdest feeling. I feel so empty.' It was like the way I thought that this trophy in this moment was going to feel so big. But instead, it felt so light. It actually carried no weight," she added. 

Brown explained that she experienced a dreaded sense of existential crisis after participating in three famous reality shows back to back. She reflected that, as a small-town girl, the sudden thrust to fame made her feel exposed and vulnerable, as per Entertainment Weekly.  "I lived in a small town in Alabama, hadn't lived more than 15 minutes away from my parents' home where I grew up, and then I had all these amazing opportunities, and yet I was so lost and felt so lonely," she said. During her DWTS journey Brown confessed via an open-letter style on Instagram that she was feeling "disconnected and lost" and wanted to be "herself" on the show. 

"This experience has been harder than I could have ever imagined. When I decided to do DWTS, I thought it would be a fun way to channel all my energy after a whirlwind experience as the Bachelorette," she began. Brown spoke about the "pressure of pretending and staying positive," was wearing her out. However, towards the end, she expressed gratitude for her fans' constant support. For the finale, 'The Bachelor' alum was pitted against Ally Brooke, Lauren Alaina, and Kel Mitchell. For the first round, Brown and Bersten performed the Viennese waltz to “Lover” by Taylor Swift, as per People. 

For the second round, the duo turned to freestyle with their rocking performances to “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keys and “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. After winning the Mirrorball trophy, it was also announced that Brown and Bersten would be joining the other finalists for 'Dancing with the Stars – Live Tour 2020'. The current highly anticipated season 34 will be aired during the fall.