What is 'gray divorce'? Rising numbers of elderly people living alone in US worries experts
Millions of elderly people are reportedly said to be living alone without any partner in the US, and experts believe the phenomenon will only surge in the coming years. Census data states that "the share of people living alone increased every decade from 1940 to 2020. The largest increase happened between 1970 and 1980 when the share increased from 17.6% to 22.7%."
"16 million people aged 65 and older in the US lived solo in 2022, three times as many who lived alone in that age group in the 1960s," reported CNN, citing the census data. While there are a multitude of reasons behind the rise of single-person households, divorce is said to be a leading cause of living alone among the elderly.
What is a 'gray divorce'?
Susan L Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, stated, "We were just floored by our findings. Well over a third of people who are getting divorced now are over the age of 50. We just can’t ignore that group anymore," to CNN. Brown shared that she first thought that it "could just be a celebrity phenomenon" but she was soon proven wrong. Along with another expert I-Fen Lin, Brown found that between 1990 to 2010, couples over the age of 50 were getting divorced more rapidly, giving birth to the term, "gray divorce."
"The divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. Roughly 1 in 4 divorces in 2010 occurred to persons aged 50 and older. Demographic characteristics, economic resources, and marital biography were associated with the risk of divorce in 2010," notes a study done by the duo. Moreover, according to Brown, the divorce rate for every age group is not on the rise and the "older adults are really bucking the trend." "This means more and more people are going to be aging, probably, alone, and outside of marriage, certainly," she expressed.
Why is the rate of divorce rising among older couples?
The Clark Law Firm explains that there are many reasons behind "gray divorces." Some of them are "abuse, empty nest syndrome, financial differences, infidelity, addiction, lack of intimacy," among others. Besides, Brown has reportedly stated, "We know that staying in a low-quality marriage can be very detrimental to individual health and well-being. When you look a little deeper, marriage is protective for individual health and longevity when couples are in satisfying and rewarding marriages, but in marriages that are low-quality and full of conflict, the outcomes are significantly worse on average."
Is there a way to save marriages?
Jane Greer, a New York City-based marriage and family therapist, shared, "I encourage couples to think back to why they first fell in love with each other and what they found so appealing and attractive about the other person. By remembering who that person was and how they made you feel, it can help rekindle desire and excitement." "Curiosity is when I show interest in you as a person without it necessarily being driven by anything I need. It’s really important in a relationship — and it’s sexy. Being curious is good for relationships because it helps you to listen and be more open," opined Harville Hendrix, a couples therapist, before adding, "If you want something different from your partner, make a request. This is more beneficial and easier to understand than being told you’re doing something wrong or that you need to stop doing something."