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Was JonBenet Ramsey a troubled child? Internet discusses 'signs of distress' in six-year-old pageant queen

A Reddit user floated a list of possibilities that JonBenet Ramsey could have been a troubled child, quashing claims that she was happy
UPDATED DEC 19, 2022
JonBenet Ramsey was just six years old when she was murdered in 1996 (Jonbenet Ramsey/Facebook)
JonBenet Ramsey was just six years old when she was murdered in 1996 (Jonbenet Ramsey/Facebook)

BOULDER, COLORADO: Jon Benet Ramsey's murder shocked the world more than two decades ago. Since then, people have been floating numerous theories about the six-year-old. Ramsey was reported missing on December 26, 1996. She was a child beauty queen and was killed in her family's home in Boulder, Colorado. 

After seven hours, her father, John, found her body in the basement. She had a broken skull from a blow to the head and had been strangled. The autopsy report stated that Ramsey's official cause of death was "asphyxia by strangulation associated with craniocerebral trauma."

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Though it has been 26 years since the murder, it still remains a cold case, with authorities struggling to find the suspect. Recently, John wrote a letter to Colorado Gov Jared Polis on October 3, stating, "I am 78 now and realize that time for answers is running out. The murder of my daughter can never be undone. There will never be peace or closure. But there can and should be justice. As a community, a state, and a nation, we should demand that from ourselves and our leaders. Whoever is responsible for this has lived the last 25 years in fear of being discovered; in fear that technology would one day evolve to the point that this homicide could be solved. That day, and that technology, are here now," reported Fox News. 

JonBenét Ramsey was found beaten and strangled to death on December 26, 1996 (Screenshot/The Sun and ABC News)
JonBenét Ramsey's father John had reportedly written a letter to Colorado Gov Jared Polis on Ocotber 3 about his daughter's murder (Screenshot/The Sun and ABC News)

He continued, "Solving the murder of my daughter will not fill the void in my heart, but it will identify and remove a demented and dangerous person from our midst and, in doing so, potentially protect the lives of other children. There is no higher responsibility of a governor than that. As an elected leader, but more importantly, as a father, I respectfully ask you to do the right thing."

Discussion on Reddit

A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)
A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)

A new discussion on Reddit claimed that Ramsey could have been a troubled child. One of the users, called "Friend of Emerald", suggested, "The case of JonBenet Ramsey is commonly presented as a murder without any real back-story involving JonBenet. In other words, the crime is supposed to have materialized from nowhere that Christmas night. As part of this pattern, the mysterious 911 call from Ramsey’s Christmas party is simply dismissed, and JonBenet herself is portrayed as happy as a lark until the day she dies."

The person continued, "The evidence does not support these ideas but suggests a troubled child in the weeks and months before her death. Of course, there has always been a school of thought that held JonBenet’s bedwetting meant she was an abused and troubled child. The weakness of this interpretation is that it relied almost exclusively on bedwetting for support. Yet, in reality, the bedwetting is only one of a half-dozen signs of distress that can be traced in JonBenet. Here they are**,** presented as a timeline." 

A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)
A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)

The first point in the article claimed, "The case of JonBenet Ramsey is commonly presented as a murder without any real back-story involving JonBenet. The earliest known indication of distress was disclosed by Pam Archuleta [the wife of Michael Archuleta, the Ramseys' pilot] in a Daily Beast article published in October of 2008, 'Pam Archuleta saw a fatigue in JonBenet during the last months of her life. “She had this haunted, defeated look. She looked frozen when she got that beauty queen attitude on. I think she was just plain worn out.'"

Further, the user claimed, "JonBenet had a haunted look during the last months of her life. This is a stunning revelation from someone who was a firm supporter of the Ramsey family. Pam uses the kind of language appropriate for horror stories. To be sure, Pam attributes the haunted look simply to pressure to perform in pageants. But is Pam’s interpretation reliable? Most observers say JonBenet enjoyed the pageants. This suggests the real cause of the haunted look was elsewhere."

JonBenét Ramsey was a beauty pageant queen, 6, who was found murdered in her parents' Boulder, Colorado home in 1996. (IMDb)
JonBenét Ramsey was a beauty pageant queen, 6, who was found murdered in her house in Boulder (IMDb)

Meanwhile, in the next point, the user writes, "The traditional red flag of bedwetting is the next sign to appear (or re-appear). According to Steve Thomas, 'There were some dark secrets. She had a continuing problem with wetting her bed, regressing in her toilet training in the months before her death.' Later in his book Thomas presented a more detailed timeline, 'For the first six months Hoffmann-Pugh worked there, she said, JonBenet wet the bed every night, and Patsy even had the girl in pull-up diapers. Then the bed wetting stopped, but it resumed about a month ago. When Hoffman-Pugh arrived for work, she said Patsy already had the bed stripped and the sheets in the washing machine.' (page 38). So, according to the housekeeper, JonBenet had a bedwetting problem that seemed to disappear but resurfaced near the end of November. Whatever the cause of her earlier bedwetting may have been, its resurgence “about a month” before the end suggests increased stress on JonBenet at that time."

The writer also claimed, "Another possible sign of distress appears in Thomas's book, p. 132, 'When Detective Gosage called a therapist who we were told had seen JonBenet, he was told to 'talk to the Parents Attorneys.'' To my knowledge no other information is available regarding this matter." In the fourth point, the user says, "Another witness to JonBenet’s distress was the landscaper. From KS Morgan’s post Remembering JonBenet, 'In early December of ’96, I was raking the blanket of leaves under a maple, getting the property ready for winter. 'Don’t pick the leaves up, please,' JonBenét begged me. 'Leave them for me to play with.' Well, I’m thinking, no way. My job is to pick them up, and that’s what I’m going to do. 'Last year my dad and I did that.' And then she said quietly; 'I really miss him. I wish he was around more. 'Where does he go?'"

A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)
A Reddit user has penned a long thread, claiming that JonBenet Ramsey may have been a 'troubled' child (Screenshots from Reddit)

The user, referring to the aforementioned passage, continued, “'I don’t know. But sometimes he goes away for a long time.' 'You really miss him?' I asked. 'Yeah, I really miss him a lot.' Then she started to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks. I didn’t know what to say—didn’t know enough about the situation, didn’t want to intrude or play counselor. It wasn’t my place. I changed the subject and started to rake up the leaves." 

Further, it stated,  "A moment later, I saw JonBenét was scooping up the leaves from the top of the barrel and hurling them over her head into the wind. 'Hey! Stop that!' I yelled……… But before long, I made a game out of it—it was fun for us. That evening I left a big pile of leaves out front by the gutter for her to play with. That was probably the last time I spoke to JonBenét. Of all the signs, this one seems the most innocuous. John spent long hours away from home running his business. What could be sinister about JonBenet missing him? Well, consider how many contacts the landscaper had with JonBenet; 'I was the landscaper at the Ramseys’ home during the last two years of her life………… She would follow me all over the yard, finding something to do wherever I worked. I was happy to talk with her, and would answer her questions about anything and everything.' Yet the one time he reports seeing her distressed is just weeks before her death. Why does he only report distress “the last time” he spoke with JonBenet?"

The fifth point in the long unproven theory claimed, "As we go deeper into December, JonBenet’s distress seems to intensify. From the Bonita papers, 'The teachers did note that sometime in December 1996, JonBenet developed a clinginess to her mother which they thought unusual for the ordinarily independent, self-assured child. It had always been apparent that there was an extreme closeness between JonBenet and her mother, who appeared to be overly protective. Still, this change in JonBenet appeared to be an even more exaggerated degree of closeness.' So just before her murder, a once confident child suddenly started to seek reassurance from her mother. What was going on?" 

The user added, "Near the end, JonBenet may have been starting to buckle under the strain. One might expect a festive gathering to be the last place JonBenet would feel any weight she may have been carrying. Yet here is how she appeared at the Ramsey’s Christmas party just two days before the end: 'during a party at her parent's home, a family friend came across a JonBenet who was seldom seen. The child was immaculate in a holiday frock, and her platinum blond hair was done perfectly, but she sat alone on a staircase in the butler's kitchen, crying softly. The friend sat beside her. 'What's wrong, honey?' Little Miss Christmas sobbed, 'I don't feel pretty.' (page 7 of Thomas)." 

"Thomas said JonBenet was “seldom seen” like this, but he probably wasn’t aware of the haunted look. Her crying is evocative of it, only this time, her distress has escalated into tears. And this episode couldn’t have occurred more than a few weeks after the teachers noticed a change in her behavior. Whatever the meaning of her explanation 'I don’t feel pretty' may have been, it rules out trivial causes such as a broken toy or a sad movie. And she wasn’t missing her dad either, as he was present at the party," the user claimed.

'This just gave me chills,' commented a user reading the write-up ( Irenenm_/Reddit)
Many users commented and participated in the discussion on JonBenet Ramsey ( Irenenm_/Reddit)

The long theory continued, "During her mother’s illness, JonBenet could show signs of distress related to that situation. However, if we limit our attention to the last year of JonBenet’s life, signs of distress appear predominantly near the very end, in the last few weeks. One or two such signs might not mean much, but a half-dozen of them is a different story. It’s hard to avoid the conclusion that late in her life, especially the last month, JonBenet was a deeply troubled child."

Finally concluding the wild and bizarre theory, "Implications for the case are profound. The picture of Patsy reassuring JonBenet, suggested by the teacher’s observations, does not exonerate Patsy. She knew her daughter better than anyone else, so her silence about this change in JonBenet’s behavior suggests she was not being candid. Here is how she responded in her 1997 interview with police when directly asked about JonBenet’s frame of mind: 'Tom Trujillo: OK. Is anything bothering JonBenet? Did she talk about anybody in general or anything that was bothering her at all? Patsy Ramsey: Huh-uh.' Yet by the last month, it seems almost everyone was noticing signs of distress in JonBenet – the housekeeper at home, the landscaper in the yard, the teachers at school, and family friends. But no member of her own family admits to observing this. Such denial is evidence JonBenet’s distress was related to the crime and members of her family were involved in that situation." 

'I Could almost picture it,' said another user ( Sadieblue111/ Reddit)
Some users agreed with the theory, while mentioning their own point of views (Sadieblue111/ Reddit)

'I could almost picture it'

Man were quick to react to the discussion as one user said, "This just gave me chills. I feel for this girl so much. We were the same exact age and I think about what she would be like in her 30s now. So sad." Another wrote, "Chills for me too. I could almost picture it. How sad." Another claimed, "t strikes me that there is someone from Jonbenet's sphere who is missing from the narrative of what you have assembled. She's missing her father and more clingy to her mother. I wonder if it's possible that Jonbenet has been instructed by members of her family to keep quiet about certain things, and her distress is thus consciously transferred to other matters. Very well collated, written, and argued. I encourage you to keep writing on the case." 

'She is missing her father and more clingy to her mother,' claims a user ( Available- champion20/ Reddit)
Some people expressed their own views about JonBenet Ramsey's murder ( Available- champion20/ Reddit)

A user wondered, "Another possible sign of distress appears in Thomas's book, p. 132: “When Detective Gosage called a therapist who we were told had seen JonBenet, he was told to 'talk to the Parents Attorneys.'" To me, that is really telling. But then I'm not American. Can it really be "normal" for a 5/6 year old to be seeing a therapist? Tell me no, please." "Gosh this poor little girl. She died before I was even born and I feel such a sense of empathy for her. Just reading this makes me wish I could have been there for her as a big sister figure," wrote another.

'Can it really be normal for a 5/6 year old to be seeing a therapist?,' asked a user ( Johnccormack/ Reddit)
'Can it really be normal for a 5/6 year old to be seeing a therapist?,' asked a user ( Johnccormack/ Reddit)
A user explained her experience as a teacher in the discussion ( Instantkarma12/Reddit)
One user, who claims to be a teacher, spoke about the school part about JonBenet Ramsey (Instantkarma12/Reddit)

' I feel such a sense of empathy for her,' said a user ( c1nnamonbunny/Reddit)
Some users expressed a sense of empathy with the six-year-old (c1nnamonbunny/Reddit)

A user claimed, "Thinking about school . . . as a teacher, I have noticed things “off” about students before- maybe a change in demeanor, behavior in the classroom or with peers, or a change in quality of classwork. However, noticing those things usually goes no further than mentioning it to other teachers, or to ask our counselor if something has changed at home.I have reported to CPS suspected abuse a handful of times over my 20-year career, but I have never reported “change in behavior” to anyone other than a counselor and other teachers because it’s not a definite sign of abuse." 

This article contains remarks made on the Internet by individual people and organizations. MEAWW cannot confirm them independently and does not support claims or opinions being made online.

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