The secret behind Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon's 30-year relationship: "Don't listen to celebrities on advice about marriage"
Lots of incomparable chemistry, an evergreen sex-life, and most importantly, the sacrifices they have made for each other have kept their strong bond of 30 years alive.
Three decades later, Kevin Bacon and his wife Kyra Sedgwick are still rocking the husband and wife game. It's their marriage anniversary this September 4, and what's their secret you ask? Nothing. In that, they are not one to give out marriage advice like some sort of pros and they are willing to stick to that rule no matter what, as Bacon revealed in a recent interview.
Speaking to Entertainment Tonight about their 30 years of married life, Bacon said: "Whatever you do, don't listen to celebrities on advice on how to stay married. That's my secret." And somehow, Sedgwick resonates the same idea, as was clear from her response to Piers Morgan's question back in 2012. "I always get uncomfortable with that question," she explained, "because I always feel like, the secret to a happy marriage is to not take advice from celebrities about marriage."
Okay, we get it. Maybe they don't want to spill the juicy details or maybe there really is no secret to withstanding everything that stands and comes in the way of a 30-year-long union, but there are certain things about the couple that fails to miss the public eye, especially in terms of their incomparable chemistry, an evergreen sex-life, and most importantly, the sacrifices they have made for each other - especially with regards to raising their family of four, that have led them to join leagues with other iconic long-term couples like Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson.
Speaking about their chemistry, Sedgwick believes there are a few ground rules that must be adhered to at all times. "Keep the fights clean, and don't have sex with somebody else," she detailed to Good Housekeeping in 2010. "Monogamy is a given, like 'Put the toilet seat down.'" The next most important thing is sex, of course. "Sex is really important. That desire is there," she shared with Redbook in 2012. "The essence of it hasn't really changed. When he walks into a room, I'm still... I mean, my heart gets a little fluttery and I think, Oh! He's so cute. He's so hot. That's literally the first thing I think."
And this comes as quite a shock considering the first time the two had officially met each other on the set of the 1998 PS remake of the play Lemon Sky, Sedgwick found Bacon to be a bit of a jerk. So how did the two of them reach the 30th-anniversary milestone?
"I had no great role models in terms of healthy marriages," Sedgwick told Good Housekeeping, referring to her parents who separated when she was all of three. "I've never had anything like that before or after." But she got engaged to Bacon at 23, after having met him just a year ago. And maybe it was fate, or maybe it was something but Sedgwick didn't feel the slightest bit of hesitation when she - as Bacon told PopEater in 2010, "Shockingly said yes."
And what does Sedgwick have to say about that? "If someone had told me that at 22 I was going to meet the man I was going to marry and at 23 I would marry him and have a child, I would have told them they were out of their mind," she told Redbook in 2008. But it was Bacon who suggested they should have kids ASAP, and she didn't mind that either. "We were like, Let's just not use birth control," she recounted to More. "I didn't think it was going to happen so fast. I got pregnant in two weeks."
Their son, Travis arrived on June 23, 1989, and his sister Sosie joined him on March 15, 1992. "Work was complicated for me," she told Good Housekeeping. "Every time I got a job, it was: Yay!—but kids, husband...what's going to happen? I was always fraught with guilt, and it's such a waste of an emotion. It keeps you out of the moment of being where you are, and I've had a lot of that over the years."
But luckily - soon they were able to figure out that the key to surviving all of this hassle was to simply move back to Manhattan. From supporting Bacon to start and flourish with his own band with his brother, Michael, to breaking all notions about couples not supposed to be working together - they came out healthier and stronger than ever.
About the gravest of conflicts they have braves, Bacon recalled during a sit-down with GQ editor-at-large Michael Hainey at the GQ+A Powered by Montblanc, that "I don't think there was a moment where it was like, that thing happened and then we got pissed at each other. It was sort of the opposite. We kind of went, 'Holy s--t. Let's...I don't know. Let's have sex or something. It's free!'"
And to just amp up the aww-factor in their compatibility, Sedgwick told Redbook: "We always knew that we were each other's 'one.' Both of us knew this was forever and we were going to work it out no matter what happens, so when we fight, it's not so scary. You can't be honest with someone if you think that they are going to leave."
With that assurance and conviction in mind, Sedgwick subtly did end up sharing some guidance however on how to thrive in the married life. "Everyone has marital struggles—I don't buy the 'Oh, it's so hard, actors being married,'" Sedgwick explained to Redbook. "Man, marriage is hard for everyone. So when we're on the red carpet and we get the 'How do you guys do it? No one can stay together,' I get really irritated. I don't think our relationship is more or less difficult; I just think you both make the commitment and you make it work."